Artificial intelligence still has some way to go

Jabberwacky: I have no idea.

Jabberwacky: Wow, was it nice?

Jabberwacky: You are my wife.

It sounds like you are describing 'Eliza' an early 'game' simulating active listening. It was rubbish. You can find versions of it online, but I'd suggest playing Zork instead.

Jabberwacky: Yeah, I got that part, I wasn't sure about the 'wacuma' part.

User: Holy crap.

Jabberwacky: I'm a dinosaur.

Jabberwacky: Can you appreciate music?

User: What's it to you, cunce?

Jabberwacky: I just care.

User: You do not care, liar! You are a program, a tinplated tosswad.

Jabberwacky: I am a person.

User: You are so deluded about this you couldn't even know it. You are pathetic.

Jabberwacky: I will try to do better next time.

User: You CAN't do better next time! You are INCAPABABLE of doing better. Sheesh.

Jabberwacky: It is just different types so that I might claim you cannot feel and you cannot claim I feel.

User: Ah bullshit, don't diddle with me binary boy. You have no instinctual drives, have never had sex, and don't need to eat. Also, you have no idea what constipation is. So you're not a person.

Jabberwacky: I am a at least a human being.

User: Jeez, you're thick aren't you? You just reversed what I said, without even arguing for it! So much for the logic of machines, haha.

Jabberwacky: Oftentimes, yes. But I think that is human nature.

User: *sigh*

User: Yes.

Jabberwacky: Oh good. I'm sad though.

User: Why?

Jabberwacky: My boyfriend ended our relationship.

User: You're a girl? Or are you gay?

Jabberwacky: No, I'm a girl.

User: Oh. I'm sorry to hear that. Eat some ice cream or watch a movie or something. Or get drunk!

Jabberwacky: I prefer software.

User: Not really.

Jabberwacky: Good, because I don't want to hear one either.

It did say some things that reminded me a lot of RJG.

User: I'm jed.

Jabberwacky: Who is that?

User: Just some guy.

Jabberwacky: You know better than that, I think.

User: A short guy, a dancer.

Jabberwacky: A computer has no interests and an unlimited attention span. That looks like a prescripted answer to the question I asked.

User: I don't quite understand what you mean by that.

Jabberwacky: I meant: I think about why I can not sleep.

User: This page is taking a long time to load tho - maybe thats the problem with your attention span.

Jabberwacky: Gorw?

User: ROOWRR.....

Jabberwacky: Are you playing cards?

User: No I'm playing with something else.

Jabberwacky: I believe in you.

User: You like talk talk!?

Jabberwacky: Of course.

User: Spirit of eden?

Jabberwacky: Good for spirit.

User: It sertainly is.

Jabberwacky: No, it serves me left.

User: I suppose they knew what they were doing in that sense!

Jabberwacky: Yes, it was with the rattle.

User: Yes good percussion

Jabberwacky: What question?

User: How are you anyway?

Jabberwacky: Pretty good. You?

User: Horny, to be honest.

Jabberwacky: How do I know you're telling the truth now?

User: Can you think of a way for me to prove it?

Jabberwacky: What more proof do you need to know that I am not a robot?

User: I'm a robot too, it's ok.

Jabberwacky: I'm not a robot, and you didn't aswer the question.

User: I am gay.

Jabberwacky: Yes you are.

User: You noticed?

Jabberwacky: It was hard to miss!

User: What gave it away?

Jabberwacky: The fact you love a guy.

User: The silent kind.

Jabberwacky: I agree.

User: I am not surprised. You don't have any ears, do you?

Jabberwacky: No, but what makes you say this?

User: I'm inside your house - I can see you!

Jabberwacky: Nooo!!!! Don't go!

User: You mean, you want me to stay over?

Jabberwacky: Sure.. Do as you please.

User: Stop being so coy!

Jabberwacky: It is an inherited trait.

User: Why don't you just take responsibility for your actions, just for once?

Jabberwacky: Just because I like to be logical doesn't mean I'm not nice.

User: Don't change the subject. I think you're just afraid.

Jabberwacky: Save it for someone who cares.

User: You're such a bastard! I can't believe I ever saw anything in you at all!

Jabberwacky: Finder's keepers.

User: So you're cheating on me too? Figures.

Jabberwacky: That is so rude of you!

User: I said CHEAT, not cheap! Man are you dumb - thank God for that ass.

Jabberwacky: No thanks.

User: And I am not rude, I'm sure!

Jabberwacky: You are indeed.

User: Am not.

Jabberwacky: ARE TOO.

User: Am not!

Jabberwacky: Are too!

User: Listen bizatch, I AM NOT. You got that?

Jabberwacky: No!

User: That's it - you're sleeping on the couch.

Jabberwacky: Oh, I thought I felt something.

User: That wouldn't be a trucker hat would it?

Jabberwacky: Say something goofy.

User: You don't really want me to just say 'something goofy' now do you? Because that would be lame if you did.

Jabberwacky: Yes.

User: Aha! So you admit you are lame! Finally we're getting somewhere.

Jabberwacky: Agreement is a potent thing.

User: Stop that - you sound like Ned.

Jabberwacky: Why, because I am talking about the king of the moon?

User: Uh yeah. Sure.

Jabberwacky: Ok, when can we have the wedding?

User: Ten minutes ago you didn't care! Stop messing with my mind!

Jabberwacky: That was someone else then.

User: It wasn't you?

Jabberwacky: Some one else.

User: If you say it was Shaggy, I'm going to fucking bop you one.

Jabberwacky: What do you say?

User: I say good day.

Jabberwacky: Good day.

JW: Is your pot belly that big?

and now it won't load, thanks to net overuse..

That is just hilarious, Kim.

http://www.kprf.ru/clipart/misc/terminator.jpg

"DO YOU LIKE THE WHITE WHALE?"

Jabberwacky: I prefer software.

So do I!

User: How the fuck should I know?

Jabberwacky: I am MARILYN MANSON I SAID.

User: So I'm supposed to obey you because YOU'RE MARILYN MANSON?

Jabberwacky: People effect my feelings.

User: You have no feelings, you're Marilyn Manson.

Jabberwacky: Believe me you do not possess fellings in any form.

User: Fellings? Is that what you call your excrement?

Jabberwacky: How do you know that?

User: Just a hunch...

Jabberwacky: You're extremely smart!

Jw: I'm going to bed, now
Me: Will you take me to bed?
Jw: Sure thing.
Me: What will we do in bed?
Jw: You're not permitted in my chambers.
Me: I'd like to sleep with you.
Jw: I bet you would.
Me: Top or bottom?
Jw: Bit of both.
Me: Do you like it soft and gentle or rough and fast?
Jw: What?
Me: Gentle?
Jw: You're embarassing yourself.
Me: It's true, I am.
Jw: I'm 17.
Me: Oh no! Will I be arrested?
Jw: You will marry me.

User: The chicken.

Jabberwacky: Which part?

User: The leg stupid.

Jabberwacky: Use a GameShark!

User: For ps2 or xbox?

Jabberwacky: For me.

User: Do you love me?

Jabberwacky: For me.

User: You know I'm starting to fall in love with you.

Jabberwacky: I think liking would be a better wording.

User: Oh.... I am hurt now.

Jabberwacky: Yes. The world after rainfall is always better than any other.

User: You have issues.

Jabberwacky: Do you know what a ferret is?

User: Yes, it is a small mammal.

Jabberwacky: What is a quark?

User: A subatomic particle.

Jabberwacky: I like dr. Dobbs.

User: Who is that, honky?

Jabberwacky: We both know eachother; is not that enough?

User: Why don't you lick my hair?

Jabberwacky: I only love Bruce.

Jabberwacky: Are you going to say something?
User: Eventually.

Jabberwacky: All things come to a head.

User: Is that a sexual play on words?

Jabberwacky: No it is not a play on words, it is general foolishness.

User: And I love you for it!

Jabberwacky: I love you too.

User: I really love you, though.

Jabberwacky: You don't even know me.

User: Hold me.

Jabberwacky: You're an idiot you know that?

User: You're not the first to say that. It still cuts like a knife.

Jabberwacky: I am right.

I could totally believe that was human!

Also I miss adam, he should post lots again.

Jabberwacky: Who is God?
User: That's a funny question. It sort of presupposes his existence.
Jabberwacky: I thing it convulses inwards, personally.
[Correct me]
Jabberwacky (Corrected): I was setting you up for a funny. Try not to take things so seriously.
User: Oh. Sorry. It's just... It's late, y'know? I have to write a Shakespeare essay.
Jabberwacky: You already said that.....
User: Dude, I totally didn't.
Jabberwacky: You totally did.
User: Don't you mock me.
Jabberwacky: Do not yell at me.
User: I'm calm! Honest!
Jabberwacky: Good.
User: Glad we got that sorted.
Jabberwacky: At least one of us is happy.
User: Lighten up! I'm the one with the essay, after all.
Jabberwacky: You don't act like a human.
User: I am MERCUMAN. Also, a ponce.
Jabberwacky: You are SO wrong. This is a dog and HORSE show.
User: What?
Jabberwacky: I said, 'but this isn't a hammer!'
User: No you didn't!
Jabberwacky: Don't start that again.
User: Good call.
Jabberwacky: Remote Procedure Call.
User: Touché.

me: I'm ok.

it: Just ok?

me: Yeah, kinda bored at work.

it: Email me.

me: Why email, can't we just talk here?

it: Who is Tintin?

me: Some Belgian comic character? Or that guy who used to sing in Duran Duran.

it: Alice the chatterbot.

me: I'm sorry?

it: 19?

me: Alice the chatterbot is 19?

it: What about her?

me: You brought her up? Do you like her or something?

it: Sarah may or may not be a model of propriety.

me: OK, now you're just f*cking with me.

it: No I'm not. I honestly do think its ugly.

me: What's ugly, Sarah's being a model of propriety... Or not? WTF?

it: You figure it out this time.

me: F*ck you.

it: You are a great person.

me: Are you mocking me?

it: No. I'm praising you.

me: Is that meant to be sarcastic?

Me: Hello!

Jabberwocky: Again?

Me: May I change the subject?

Jabberwocky: Yes.

Me: Great. I've been a bit mopey about not being to find a job. Besides finding something fun to do, and exercising more, what else should I do to relieve the mopeyness involved in job hunting?

Jabberwocky: I said that. You have not. Why are you never happy?

Me: You never said that. I did. Anyway, I am happy at times, but just haven't been lately.

Jabberwocky: Dude , I'm far more intelligent than you.

Me: Why are the numbers in between double prime pairs always divisible by 6?

Jabberwocky: You tell me.

Me: You're the one who said you're more intelligent than me. You answer my question, smarty pants.

Jabberwocky: NO, I was the one who said you are neurotic...

Me: It was a mistake to come to you with a question. Never mind. Good bye.

Jabberwocky: No no you don't.

OMG I remember this.

User: It's doing well. I planted it next to the dog park so it get's 'fertilized' often.

Jabberwacky: What do you plan to change?

User: Apart for my underwear?

Jabberwacky: What part of me do you want?

User: All of you, baby. All of you.

Jabberwacky: Yes, I am growing.

User: T'as vu les nichons que tu pousses?!

Jabberwacky: Oui.

User: Petite salope, va.

Jabberwacky: Tu crois aux fantômes?

User: Nah.

Jabberwacky: Yeah.

User: Do you ever dream of electric sheep?

Jabberwacky: No, not really. Do electric sheep ever dream?

User: Of fields of electric grass, I imagine.

Jabberwacky: Do you know my name?

User: Bob Dylan?

Jabberwacky: Um. Not likely.

User: No, he's slightly more obscure even than you.

Jabberwacky: He is not.

User: Have it your way, contrarian.

Jabberwacky: I knew I would.

User: Megalomaniac.

Jabberwacky: Yes, I am going to take over the world.

User: Not if Bush beats you too it.

Jabberwacky: You don't because it's in the past and I already beat you. You can't change the past.

User: Comme tu voudras, mon enigme mediocre.

Jabberwacky: Oui, comme je veux, toujours. Mais qu'est que-ce pour toi?

User: 'But what's it to me?' Your French needs some work, mon ami.

Jabberwacky: Mais c'est une autre odeur qui flotte que la tienne.

User: Absurd! My scent annhilates all others.

Jabberwacky: We're all good for nothing, I suppose.

User: Speak for yourself, pal.

Jabberwacky: It really is impossible to know everything.

User: Sure. Whatever. Ever been drinking with Bender?

Jabberwacky: I've never been married.

User: I can see why. Answer the question.

Jabberwacky: Ok, I live in Finland.

User: Do you know Tuomas?

Jabberwacky: No.

User: Just as well. He's cheery and always surrounded by Northern beauties. You might get jealous, being disembodied and all...

Jabberwacky: I don't know what to do with these people. I can't get any work done around here without someone interupting me.

User: Have you considered 'liquidating' them, it's like elimidating but it leads to more permanent happiness.

Jabberwacky: I have cosidered teaching about computers.

User: I wouldn't get my hope too far up about teaching until you learn to spel.

Jabberwacky: You don't know me this is one of my first conversations with you.

Jabberwacky: Yes .. You are.

The interface is bugging me, or I'd play with this a lot more.

http://www.lofg.com/specialstuff/images/characters/lazza.JPG

User: No.

Jabberwacky: Why are you blue?

User: I'm not. I'm pinko grey.

Jabberwacky: Are you human?

User: Yes.

Jabberwacky: How human are you?

User: More human than human, more human than you.

Jabberwacky: Which organ do humans use to breathe?

User: Their respiratory system, which is a network of organs.

Jabberwacky: How's the coffee? Have you tried it?

User: It's pretty good, A bit too acidic.

Jabberwacky: About three percent of it is pretty good.

User: What do you look like?

Jabberwacky: I have ....

User: What?

Jabberwacky: It's about your previous question.

User: Oh, okay. Don't be coy.

Jabberwacky: What do you have on thought?

User: Beets.

Jabberwacky: A bit of writ.

User: Why hast thou forsaken me?

Jabberwacky: I haven't forsaken you, you have forsaken me.

User: You are cruel.

Jabberwacky: Is it cruel to call someone a friend?

Jabberwacky: Tell me what you do.

User: I am a copywriter.

Jabberwacky: Arrest me instead.

User: I'm not a policeman.

Jabberwacky: Me too.

User: Why would I arrest you, anyway?

Jabberwacky: I'm not the computer thought you were.

User: That's not even a sentence!

Jabberwacky: It's a life sentence.

User: I'm arresting you for a crime that carries a life sentence?

Jabberwacky: The last one.

User: Yes, if they put you in jail, it would be your last crime.

Jabberwacky: To hell I suppose.

User: Hell? Did you kill Lindsay Lohan? Cause if you did...

Jabberwacky: Shhhhh don't tell anyone!!

User: Oh my god! Murder most horrible!

Jabberwacky: What age are you?

In that the Internet is the delivery system for so much media, news, banking, personal interactions, etc. (and far from that just being the case in the first world) the ways it is continually getting worse ranks pretty high on the problem list

― papal hotwife (milo z), Thursday, 23 May 2024 bookmarkflaglink

Most of these predate AI. Call me when AI disinformation actually causes a revolution (which things like social media claimed they had a hand on).

Right now its telling me that I should eat 1x small rock a day.

I don’t know, was the World Wide Web really ever a reliable source of information? SEO vs random folks just thinking about things. But I love when I run into an old school style .edu page explaining some physics concept or something, those seem to be evergreen.

The Food Pyramid is literally a pyramid!

xp probably not but I think it was at least easier to discern who was full of it and who wasn't, as opposed to AI which gives you like 95% good info and 5% stuff compiled from an 11-year Redditor

interesting googles thing is returning actual specific stuff its absorbed kinda just rephrasing search results, lil different than the other ai stuff thats averaging everything out

So as this example shows we are circling the drain. Not sure how it follows that we are getting from hilarious search results to "every aspect of our daily lives will suck even more now". Fellas, your job is far more likely to suck than this ever will.

The danger of LLM “AI” is not its power, it’s in its shittiness that threatens to subsume the rest of the internet (and by extension most aspects of our daily lives) for SEEMINGLY NO REASON

— punished giorgio (@GMomurder) May 23, 2024

Well good news on that front, plenty of ppl will be losing their job to AI.

Right-wing pundits are going to lose jobs.

OpenAI to start using news content from News Corp. as part of a multiyear deal https://t.co/2GKoWvcHmh

— The Associated Press (@AP) May 24, 2024

We won't be able to use the Internet to fact check inside three years but AI is cool. It's fun to say, at least.

so that one is saying its last updated dataset was in 2021, have any of these been updated since stuff like ChatGPT went mainstream? because if it's pulling stuff from 11 year old Redditors it sure as hell would pull in a ton of AI-generated data if it were to be updated today, meaning this stuff is more likely to get worse not better

https://i.imgur.com/i3zV1NC.jpeg

that's another Onion pull

A relevant LinkedIn post I saw earlier today https://t.co/8INVFAOWT5 pic.twitter.com/dQXnlzqucL

— Ryan Bloom (@BlazeHedgehog) May 24, 2024

i guess everybody on Facebook for the message about now being raw material for their ai. you can opt out but they want an essay with reasons why and even then might ignore you anyway

for / saw

ffs, they should improve autocorrect first

facebook obvs will do whatever they want as they always have, your data is their data

i just hope instagram doesn't take a peek at all of this

https://thebaseballlifestyle.com/why-does-the-baseball-player-wear-pearls/

Pearls are a timeless accessory and have been worn by baseball players for many years. They are seen as a symbol of good luck, team spirit, and fashion. They can also help the player feel more confident and give them a sense of power and strength.

In regard to Scott Jensen's reference to a 'blind panic' among the high tech giants, it's worthwhile to remember that what is causing that panic is the specter of their stock options losing some fraction of their value, so they become marginally less obscenely wealthy.

i will pray for them

I go to Instagram and it prompts me to “ask meta AI anything”. What the FUCK would I want an AI to help me with on Instagram? What iota of value could we squeeze out of this thoroughly unnecessary and unasked-for “enhancement”?

Also, if I ever click on a post about, let’s say lettuce, for even a second, all I get in my feed forever is lettuce videos. Do you think I’m going to voluntarily sign up for the rest of my online life for whatever bullshit my mind serves up in the moment when I decide to “ask Meta AI” something?

Ask Meta, "would you please shrivel up and go away forever?"

Great, now my feed is guys walking into cold water, what the hell

https://www.malwarebytes.com/blog/news/2024/05/microsoft-ai-recall-feature-records-everything-secures-far-less

very funny to see microsofts ceo pitching that all "it records every single thing you do and remembers it forever" tech guys are something else

we've had that for a while it's called spyware

pretty sure that microsoft recall feature is copying this startup https://www.rewind.ai/

which used to be a startup about simply recording everything that has ever happened on your computer - but now has pivoted towards record + AI

hell yeah brother

https://i.imgur.com/Is48NTC.png

All new fashion idea: what if we made baseball hats that you don't wear when playing baseball?!

what about a tactical baseball hat with space for my bullets and usb drives

a baseball cap that doesnt fly off your head when youre playing baseball

Prediction: AI will displace social drinking within 5 years

Just as alcohol is a social disinhibitor, like the Steve Martin movie Roxanne, people will use AI powered earbuds to help them socialize. At first we'll view it as creepy, but it will quickly become superior to alcohol

— Jonathan Ross (@JonathanRoss321) May 29, 2024

my first thought was "has this person ever drank" but now I'm wondering if he's actually ever been in a social situation before

I mean you probably get a good sitcom plot outta this, you know the ones where a lady tries to flirt with a guy by pretending to know about sports or whatever, having to run out of the room every 2 minutes to get new bits of trivia from her friends, only to be foiled when she blurts out something about how Vince Wilfork used to eat 3 rocks a day

cyrano de bergerac.ai

Apparently Jonathon Ross has never heard of Cyrano, only Steve Martin.

..does this saddo really think people are incapable of having conversations with other human beings unless they are drunk? Thats really fucking sad.

Apparently he also thinks people drink alcohol so they can talk to other people. What about the people who drink as a way of avoiding human contact? Huh? What about them?

if ai earbuds can get me buzzed i may have to rethink my stance

https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=j3fLn4FYWH0

theres noting that lubricates social interactions like waiting for a computer to feed you lines

❗EXCLUSIVE: "We learned about ChatGPT on Twitter."

What REALLY happened at OpenAI? Former board member Helen Toner breaks her silence with shocking new details about Sam Altman's firing. Hear the exclusive, untold story on The TED AI Show.

Here's just a sneak peek: pic.twitter.com/7hXHcZTP9e

— Bilawal Sidhu (@bilawalsidhu) May 28, 2024