AGING PARENTS

Mom has mostly not been duped by scams because she often asks me to look at things first or googles then first.

Then yesterday, has dresses for sale on Poshmart, and gets an email formatted so poorly it was obviously fake, saying her dress sold and they needed her banking info.

Nevermind the fact that the website itself showed no sale on it, and the site tells you never to give your bank info to buyers, she clicked on the link, proceeded to give these people all of her banking info, and only realized it was a scam when they asked her for $200 to verify her account.

Now she has to cancel her debit card AND get a new checking account number. I really hope this is not a sign of a mental decline because she's never been foolish like that before. And if she gets cleaned out, it'll impact us both.

And to report it, just now, she juxtaposed two digits and called a scam impersonator instead of her bank.

Praying she's just brain farting today because I really don't have the energy to become her POA agent

Yeah my mom fell for a scam a year back that started with a fake iPhone alert, proceeded to have her call a phone number and told her she need identity fraud protection, and then in this case asked my mom to drive to a convenience store with a bitcoin atm to make a deposit.

Fortunately we caught her before the last part.

But I think it wasn't cognitive impairment here as much as confusion followed by shame. And the scammers knew how to prey on the shame.

trying to explain to my mother why she can't just cash a check made out to my deceased father in her own bank account is like explaining tax codes to kindergartners. i gave up after a half hour.

My project continues: After months of effort by everyone — especially my dad, who made packing up their house basically a full-time job for about four months — I have successfully moved my parents' stuff down to a rental house about a mile from me. Step 2 is actually moving them. I'm going to fly up next weekend and drive back down with both of them. This will be ... interesting. My sister is also moving here, which is great. But it also means I'm suddenly going to be living in the same city with most of my immediate family, after not even living in the same state with any of them for most of the last 30 years. Huh.

The move won't be complete until they buy a house here, which they can't do until they sell their current house in western NY. A lot of change for people who are turning 78 and 80 this year.

wild amount of work - glad your folks have you and your sister, but wow that sounds like a huge undertaking. my only advice is - leave breathing time for you. but it's a good thing you're doing!