give JD Vance a new stage name

Hillbilly Eulogy
Yuppie Kentucky
Creep Veep

Can’t Dance Vance

Mamaw's Boy

The Beard Ride No One Would Take

bring to mind that line from Black Books about "a beard with an idiot hanging from it"

Ohio Player

The Cincinnati (suburb) Kid

https://i.redd.it/pga262gbr9741.jpg

The Legend of Carpetbagger Vance

JV Dance

Dew Shbag

The Applelatchkey Kid

DJ Senator JD Lance Vance

VJ Dance, featured at your local Rainbow Lounge every Friday night

hat tip to stevie d for that one

Thiel’s Toy

Bigot Smalls

as i mentioned on the other thread, he has had THREE government names:

James David Vance (born James Donald Bowman; August 2, 1984). James Donald Bowman was born on August 2, 1984, in Middletown, Ohio, to Beverly Carol (née Vance; born 1961) and Donald Ray Bowman (1959–2023). His parents divorced when he was a toddler. Shortly afterward, Bowman was adopted by his mother's third husband, Bob Hamel, and had his name changed to James David Hamel.

all good assassin names!

VD Chance

Skeevy J Con

Vance in your pants

I've seen him referred to as Nazi Teddy Ruxpin.

Suburb Dew

DJ Bad Terminator

Vajajay Dance

Vance Vance Peed in his Pants

RichKid VD The Jaybricator

van jones on cnn just called him Quayle from Yale.

My Little Jabrony

gameboy vance

My occasional dyslexia resulted in my referring to him as VD Jance, but I like J. Danforth Vance as a nod to his fellow Ohio River-area lightweight

DP Vance

https://images-na.ssl-images-amazon.com/images/S/compressed.photo.goodreads.com/books/1344902953i/2414039.jpg

Just Dew-it Vance

wow, Servant of the Wank is kinda perfect for him.

my favorite Deicide album

https://i.imgur.com/lJo1Apx.gif

hold it this is even better

https://i.imgur.com/3Gxmfgl.png

Vance looks like the most successful Chapo host

J. Diva

Ol' 64-Pack Vance

Junior Varsity Vibes

Pence Noosebeard

Neckbeard Crabs

it really is crazy to me that we've reached a point in U.S. history where the GOP nominee is Donald Trump, who was already president once, and the best VP pick he can come up with is a guy who openly admitted to having sex with furniture.

That’s a long name. Maybe you thought this was the politics thread ?

No whenever one meets him that's how he should be referred to, that's his name

lol ok!

he looks like if Haley Joel Osmond wore eyeliner

Bowman-Hamel Overdrive

ok

https://www.reddit.com/r/TimAndEric/comments/1f2n608/oh_my_god_he_did_it/

fucking unreal

more digital chemtrails from this fucker

In the resurfaced clip, Vance, who was speaking at a forum held by the Center for Christian Virtue, attacks “leaders on the left” and Randi Weingarten, the president of the American Federation of Teachers, for not having children.

“So many of the leaders of the left, and I hate to be so personal about this, but they’re people without kids trying to brainwash the minds of our children, that really disorients me and disturbs me,” Vance can be heard saying in the clip.

“Randi Weingarten, who’s the head of the most powerful teachers’ union in the country, she doesn’t have a single child. If she wants to brainwash and destroy the minds of children, she should have some of her own and leave ours the hell alone.”

brainwash?!!? what a cancerous person he is

Weird

Human shitstain

“If she wants to yell at Donald Trump because he showed up, she can go to hell,” Vance said at a campaign event in Erie, Pennsylvania, where his supporters burst into chants of “USA! USA! USA!”

seems like were getting some new branding here mad vance

Shitting on teachers has been one of the least effective wingnut tactics. Up there with firefighters in terms of professions you can’t effectively defame - underpaid and necessary.

This is why I didn’t buy it that Vance had boomer energy. He’s way more of an millennial edge dork.

someone on t.v. called him Andrew Dice Vance the other day.

Sure, if he forgets how the joke started midway through

Humpty Dumpty? Yeah, I fucked him.

The Other Other-J.D.

Hickory Dickery Couch

he's had three names in his life. which is kinda "weird" for a VP pick.

...But Perfect For A Serial Killer!

Just seen: Hillbilly Vanilli.

Pretty good.

JD Vance is booed before he speaks in front of a firefighters union in Boston.

"Sounds like we got some fans and some haters. That's okay." pic.twitter.com/IOsfr8oWWJ

— The Recount (@therecount) August 29, 2024

His Tim Heidecker impression is getting better

love a public booing

Boston firefighters? yeah, that's enemy territory

Is it? (genuine question)

they did not boo tim walz yesterday. far from it.

https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=rQPwjkiKJM0

he even threw out a "go twins" at the end and they didn't boo!

Haha, the hits keep coming.

All of Alexandria, VA rooting for Trump to lose (he'll lose the city anyway) because Vance lives near a park beloved by kids and dogs, and as of this week the Secret Service shut it down

— Justin Sherin (@wychstreet) August 29, 2024

JD lives in a neighborhood that is very liberal, farm-to-table, bean-to-bar type area with lots of affluent young liberals with kids. He must be petrified by all the dads-carrying-babies and young brunch crowd.

they did not boo tim walz yesterday. far from it.

Huh. I always thought the firefighter unions were just slightly less right wing police unions.

boston is a special place

reading about this boar's head facility made me think of trump, vance, AND kennedy.

https://www.cbsnews.com/news/bugs-mold-mildew-inspection-boars-head-plant-listeria/

"The employee wiped a third time, and the leaks returned within 10 seconds," inspectors wrote after one condensation issue was raised on July 27, near fans that looked to be blowing the liquid onto uncovered deli meats.

In February, an inspector found "ample amounts of blood in puddles on the floor" and a "rancid smell" throughout a cooler used at the plant.

A number of records also flag sightings of insects in and around deli meats at the plant, including one instance that prompted the agency to tag more than 980 pounds of ham in a smokehouse hallway to be "retained" for an investigation.

In June, another record flagged concerns over flies going in and out of "vats of pickle" left by Boar's Head in a room.

"Small flying gnat like insects were observed crawling on the walls and flying around the room. The rooms walls had heavy meat buildup," they wrote.

Other parts of the facility were also found to have bugs, including what looked to be "ants traveling down the wall," as well as a beetle and a cockroach.

they are human listeria. or human rancid deli meats. one or the other. or maybe both.

and meanwhile dietz and watson is totally taking advantage of gross boar's head with a million ads on t.v. about how normal and homespun and safe they are. they are the harris/walz of high sodium meat.

https://i.imgur.com/K8ihbm6.png

Good to see Augustus Gloop found his way out of that pipe.

— Matthew Gracie (@InfosecGoon) August 31, 2024

good at all the normal things

When J.D. Met Marcy

Senator Vance and Rep. Kaptur both showed up to the picket line at the Toledo Assembly Complex this morning. pic.twitter.com/dc7xS0vMAq

— 13 Action News (@13abc) October 6, 2023

did she snub his attempted fist bump? he seems v eager to be done talking with marcy.

No she reached out to bump fists and he grabbed her fist for a handshake. When he realized he fucked up he put his fist out for a bump and she was already done with him.

https://pbs.twimg.com/media/GWh-h8ja8AAzBMz?format=jpg&name=medium

Haaa what a choad. And to go somewhere dressed like that too jfc

You’re not going to the mall bro

youre going to the assembly complex

Major Doraemon energy with the failed bump there

https://i.pinimg.com/564x/ea/d2/39/ead239ea4179141300921aa8e9662bfa.jpg

this guy is an interesting case study https://amp.tmz.com/2024/09/07/jd-vance-swimming-shirt-la-jolla-hotel

how dare u compare the beloved doraemon to that weirdo matt

JD Vance and Donald Trump pic.twitter.com/h7pV2U87rI

— Roy Drones Jr (@chiweethedog) September 9, 2024

Trumpkin Spice

mini golf

Ol' Putt-Putt

Bogey-on-the-little-lighthouse-hole

Seems possible idk

AP is trying to suppress us, stop us from sharing the truth pic.twitter.com/W8ThyIzEhU

— Spookie 👻 Winehouse (@SookieWinehouse) October 31, 2024