why aren't you a waiter?

I worked in a *gag* Golden Corral for my first job. Everyone had sex with the manager ('cept me of course) and he slapped us all the ass and called us Baby. He wore a Betty Boop tie.

Oh, sorry. Have I told that story one too many times?

(things I've done in walk-ins: smoked hella ganj from paraphernalia crafted from foodstuffs, taken naps, one drunk-as-piss-make-out-session, recorded rhythm tracks for a song banging on metal shelves & plastic tubs full of food with drumsticks, gotten rid of stress/anxiety by screaming at the top of my lungs [once I was doing this and this sweet shy little server girl came in mid-scream and was like "ah don't kill me!"], changed into street-clothes, layed down on the floor cuz the kitchen was hella hot and I felt like I was about to die, etc.)

I've known all this from an early age, which is one reason I never worked in food service.

yes!

I'm just too mean and rude for that line of work, people treat waiters like crap and I had no patience for that.

Bastards have learned to fake being nice, well enough for the tips at least, don't let tables bother them, all while being able to keep moving. I mostly worked in places that made it hard to 'fraternize' with the opposite sex on the clock, so all I did in the walk-in was kick things and cool off.

***

I'm not a waiter because I was smoking two packs a day when I was working, and that killed my lungs (sinus and asthma problems non-stop now). I can't separate the two activities, I tried really hard.

The biggest shock to me was the amount of racism when customers are out of earshot. Jesus.

NOT RIGHT NOW I'M NOT!!! I'm a Netizen!

Fine-- I have nothing better to do with my life, DOCTOR GEEB.

i was a waiter once!

Because of the fear I now live in of an audit because of the creative tax preparation my accountant engaged in to get me to a nice comfortable tax bill of $1200 after having received $0 paychecks all year.

I make $3.90/hour (this is after last year's IL min. wage increase) + tips; all of the $3.90 goes to pay taxes. If we had not found a way to deduct a little less than half of my tip income I would have had a tax bill of around $4,000. The deductions are not backed up by any paper work on my part, so in the event of an audit, I'm a little fucked.

Also, because most of my friends work 9-5 so it makes for a disjointed social life. I will meet up with friends after work at around 11 when they're already drunk; I'll catch up and by the time I'm drunk, they're going home.

Also, no benefits unless you work for the soul-crushing corporate restaurants like any of Chicago's Lettuce Entertain You group's places where you are required to stick to particular phrasology, and generally to do things The Lettuce Way!

Also, no computer.

The great majority of the waiters I work with have at least bachelor's degrees (perhaps all, but I'm not sure of that). Two women have 2, and a couple have Master's.

and wear FLAIR!

Yo anyone who was a waiter - what's waiter-slang for "stealing another waiter's table that has already been sat in your section"? I'm pretty sure there was a universal slang for this (a la "86'd" or "in the weeds"), but it's been so long.

I was a terrible waiter. Awkward and absent minded. Sux cuz it was the best paying, most available job for... people like me.

Friend of mine who I met when we were teaching adult learners together has recently gone back to waitressing, and now she earns quite a bit more than me on a good day! To be fair it's a good deal more stressful and physically demanding (and less fun) than the kind of teaching I do. Also I would hate the hours.

i had a variety of waiting jobs, ranging from an Applebee's knock-off to 4-Star dining in a chichi antebellum B&B. pretty much hated all of them. things that paid the same or damn close and were way better: valet parking, bell hop, minimal guest interaction catering gigs, and bar tending. tending bar was far and away the best $$. bell hopping or catering prob the least annoying (but that could be bc of chill coworkers)

i am not "good with people" when i'm on the clock. totally my failing though.

I waited tables on and off for around six years, through college & shortly thereafter. During my last stint, I was working at an upscale jazz club in a large college town. One night, I got stiffed for a tip on a huge table that took up almost half of my section for most of the night. I chased them into the hallway as they were leaving & basically initiated a shouting match. I was immediately fired & I walked out & have not worked in food service since.

really, though, it's not bad money if you can get a good gig.

I am not a waiter manily because that way I can avoid having to stab myself with a bare bodkin, as being one who is unable to bear the fardels that come with that job.

what's waiter-slang for "stealing another waiter's table that has already been sat in your section"?

"shitty"

i am not a waiter bcuz its a terrible job & ppl are entitled monsters

even with the "reduced cash wage" that restaurants are allowed to pay to servers, you can make a lot of money as a waiter in the right restaurant.

ive worked a few shifts as a waiter to help out a friend & the money is good but ppl are still terrible. my bf works as a bartender a few nights a week & makes p good money but the shit he has to deal w/ is p deflating.

Lamp OTM. I waitressed at various places (including my parents' - BAD IDEA) throughout HS, college and for a while thereafter. People are entitled monsters but I think working in the service industry and especially as a server in a restaurant teaches you some really important lessons and people skills. As awful as it was at points I'm really glad to have had that experience. Bartended for a while and that was equally as horrifying in terms of the people but awesome in terms of $$.

best case waiting job (ymmv): working a small section in a high-priced, locally-owned place w/ a good reputation & built-in clientele. Your customers will basically know the drill & act accordingly. You may even get to know some of them over time. Say you have a five-table section in such a place.. say that, over the course of a night, you flipped each table once; & say the average ticket price per table is $200 - you will make around $400 for five or so hours of relatively easy work. Of course, such jobs are not always easy to get b/c of low turn-around in such restaurants.

what ever happened to horace.

IIRC, he still posts as Dr. Superman, though mostly to I Love Comics.

i never minded bartending as much because a) the money was much better (in my situation) and b) i felt like i sorta had license to be a dick to terrible guests in a way that i somehow didn't when waiting tables. if that makes sense. i guess the very public component of a bar setting does a decent job of shaming assholes in a way that a semi-private table or booth doesn't?

People are socialized to believe they've got to kiss bartender ass to get better drinks, because this is for the most part, true.

i am very nice to bartenders and most people in the service industry but i don't make a habit of kissing anyone's ass. i don't like it.

btw i have always wanted to be a host or a waiter part time. want the good experience.

I don't either but 'kissing ass' is the very definition of what assholes think being nice looks like, so they perform to the bartender, who knows they're stealth assholes... if that makes sense.

People are monsters, but this creates a camraderie among the staff in the right restaurant. And lots of booty calls.

I've never heard a term for stealing someone's table, I never saw it happen unless it was offered up.

Yeah I've never heard a term for that either

I am not a waitress because I can't even carry 1x bowl across my kitchen (approx 3 steps wide/long) without spilling something.

omg so true

I'm not a waitress bc of the 12 wine glasses I was given 2 years ago, only 4 remain in tact :D

The trick to not spilling drinks as you carry them is to not look at them but look straight ahead. Works esp well with martinis. fact.

i think i'd have more pleasent interactions with people as a waiter than as an attorney.

poll

we used to call it poaching
or i did at least

waited tables a lot in my teens and early 20s; lots of interesting parallels to teaching imo

man, I have seen some catastrophic tray spills (but thankfully never dumped one myself)

I liked the activity of waiting tables (the bustle and multitasking, the limited but somewhat personal social interaction aspect of it, the friendships with coworkers) but always worked in pretty shitty places and never made much $$, so I was always starving.

yea i can't do that i would spill everything, so i guess hosting is really my calling. like i would seat you and ask how your night is.

i waitressed for about 8 years at a locally infamous italian bistro, and there are a lot of things about it i miss, but i couldn't do it again - i don't think my 'sassy' style of service would earn me many tips here.

in my early waitressing days, i got a newspaper review titled 'service with a snarl'. my boss was actually stoked bc the guy was a total douche and apparently they'd been feuding for years. i was really rude to him and his party, but they were total assholes in a number of ways so i didn't feel bad.

!!!!!!! amazing

I'm no longer a waiter, but a legal assistant. I left because I wanted to work 9-5, to have health insurance, to get paid time off (including sick days) and because I couldn't see myself still waiting tables 15 years down the line. The only career path I could see if I continued as a waiter would be going into management, which would mean insurance, but no improvement in schedule (in fact, I would have to stay after all the waiters were done for the night), but a very significant pay cut.

At first the pay cut hurt, but I was really lucky that our firm won a major case during my first year of work, which landed me a sweet bonus, and then we merged, and I got a raise, so I wasn't living off ramen noodles after the switch. Still not back to waiter wages, but I'm happy, and I am in a career where I see room for advancement.

Mostly I quit waitering b/c I saw co-workers in their 50s with no health insurance.

This is OT, but every one of your reasons for leaving waiting are my reasons for leaving home health.

That's too bad. While restaurant service is a noble work and all, it's unfortunate that home health isn't more valued. Continuing the OT: a friend recently moved to the mental health field, working as a case manager while he gets his masters. He got: a huge pay cut, crazy hours, duties that are way over his head, and, apparently, constant worry and vigilance re bed bugs. Also concerns about a client taking a leak or crap in his car. It sounds to me like the rewards of that work are the hope of one day leaving it.

Lots of really interesting stories, though.

These are the reasons I left rock 'n' roll

http://www.nypost.com/p/news/opinion/opedcolumnists/you_got_served_J0xciA8V4GfJ55VsILSGxL

ugh that guy

I’m spending $150 tonight, Skippy, and yet you were in the Federal Witness Protection Program when I needed a second drink. Now you want to hustle me into dessert and coffee. Uh-uh. Negative. This $28 sliver of trout still has about $9 to go, and I’m not leaving any of it behind. Enjoy my 11% tip.

kyle smith is really opening himself up to some off-the-menu ingredients being added to his dishes

Now you want to hustle me...

Last May, when my wife and I spent some weeks in France and from necessity we ate out every night, I noticed that wait staff never rushed us; it was assumed that once a table was occupied it would remain occupied until the occupants were good and ready to call it a night and leave. Two hour dinners were the norm for us. Indeed, it was difficult to finish an evening meal more rapidly than that, even if we wished to.

This is not the norm in the USA, but I can at least sympathize with this dickwad over that one point; if you are in an upscale restaurant, you should never be rushed by the wait staff.