Backrubs between friends

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a) Always or almost always without significant sexual undercurrent (i.e., should be taken at face value). b) Always or almost always with significant sexual undercurrent, regardless of how presented or what is said. c) Depends greatly on []; but in general, closer to "a)". d) Depends greatly on [], but in general, closer to "b)".

Well?

Joe, Wednesday, 9 January 2002 01:00 (twenty-three years ago) link

DEFINATE COURTING RUITUAL

Mike Hanle y, Wednesday, 9 January 2002 01:00 (twenty-three years ago) link

If a guy is doing it, it always has a significant sexual undercurrent. Not necessarily so if a girl is doing it.

electric sound of jim, Wednesday, 9 January 2002 01:00 (twenty-three years ago) link

Either c) or d), depending greatly on []

Tracer Hand, Wednesday, 9 January 2002 01:00 (twenty-three years ago) link

AAAUUUGH!

Look, the XY chromosome has a fuck of a lot to answer for, but I don't like assumptions made that guys only give backrubs just to get some. I'll give backrubs to anybody -- the only exception being that I have reason to fear the recipient. That's it. Girlfriend. Best male friend. Close female friend. Gay guy. Nun. Gay Male nun. Whatever.

Sigh. Maybe I'm the exception here. But my backrubbing intentions are meant as a love for greater humankind, not for a piece of ass.

Now of course, I'll give backrubs if the significant sexual undercurrent is mutual, too. But it bothers me when people assume a guy will give a backrub always for sexually ulterior motives.

Brian MacDonald, Wednesday, 9 January 2002 01:00 (twenty-three years ago) link

Usually a, but due to weird paranoia on my part I'll only take or give them with really close friends, who I trust enough that I don't care about their motivations.

Maria, Wednesday, 9 January 2002 01:00 (twenty-three years ago) link

Always a significant undercurrent sounds vaguely like you are paranoid about appearing gay or maybe you are oversexe. Or maybe not. Not for me anyway.

helenfordsdale, Thursday, 10 January 2002 01:00 (twenty-three years ago) link

I'll only take or give them with really close friends, who I trust enough that I don't care about their motivations.

This is interesting. Do you really mean you don't care about what your close friends' motivations are? Even if they wanted to get it on with you (as close friends often do)? Wouldn't you be worried about their feelings, at least? Or did you just mean that you don't believe their motivations would be anything other than friendly?

N., Thursday, 10 January 2002 01:00 (twenty-three years ago) link

I only do them with close relatives cos that way I know we've already consumated any crushes.

Ronan, Thursday, 10 January 2002 01:00 (twenty-three years ago) link

That reminds me of yesterday's G2 piece on c onsensual incest.

N., Thursday, 10 January 2002 01:00 (twenty-three years ago) link

See? We're not freaks. I use a coil for fuck sake.

Ronan, Thursday, 10 January 2002 01:00 (twenty-three years ago) link

a). Often at or after free parties. I find it a great shame that it does caryy this tittering sewxual undercurrant in our society. Definately sensual, but that does not have to mean sexual.

Ed, Thursday, 10 January 2002 01:00 (twenty-three years ago) link

If there if a backrub, while there is a handjob, then there is a subtle sexual undercurrent. If you give a backrub, and you are suddenly attack by a raccoon, there is no undercurrent.

Gage-o, Thursday, 10 January 2002 01:00 (twenty-three years ago) link

Ah consentual incest - the phrase I believe which got me into Oxford.

Pete, Thursday, 10 January 2002 01:00 (twenty-three years ago) link

Do you really mean you don't care about what your close friends' motivations are? Even if they wanted to get it on with you (as close friends often do)? Wouldn't you be worried about their feelings, at least? Or did you just mean that you don't believe their motivations would be anything other than friendly?

Yeah, I really mean I don't care. Because with close friends, sexual undercurrents are still friendly ones. At least in my admittedly limited experience.

Maria, Thursday, 10 January 2002 01:00 (twenty-three years ago) link

How can they bring up consensual incest in literature and not mention the entire oeuvre of VC Andrews?

rosemary, Friday, 11 January 2002 01:00 (twenty-three years ago) link

two years pass...
Time for a revive... Restating the original multiple choices:

A) Always or almost always without any significant sexual undercurrent (i.e., always or almost always should be taken at face value and nothing more).

B) Always or almost always with a significant sexual undercurrent, even if denied or framed as platonic by one or both parties.

C) Depends greatly on [X Y Z]; but in general, it's usually closer to A.

D) Depends greatly on [X Y Z], but in general, it's usually closer to B.

Joe (Joe), Tuesday, 11 May 2004 15:22 (twenty years ago) link


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