TOMBOT'S Amazon Marketplace Blowout (wherein you make jokes at the expense of my juvenile obsessions)

I think at least two of our MDs used to insert at least one fake act into the top 10 of both those and the metal/loud rock charts just to see if anybody noticed.

This is what I learned today.

There is the Harry Connick conundrum.

1. Hardback books are a rape unless they sell for more than $10.00. Some bitch just asked for expedited shipping on Prisoner of Azkaban and I'm like WHO CARES, HOBAG, PRIORITY MAIL IS ONLY $0.10 MORE EXPENSIVE FOR HUGE FUCKOFF BOOKS LIKE THAT. $5.49? NOT EVEN CLOSE! I know I'll be paying $6 at least for shipping to Illinois and $1.50 for the mailer, which wipes out all my profits after Amazon takes their commission. I feel like Tony Wilson here.

2. I mean fucking airmail to Australia or the UK is apparently cheaper than sending a 2lb. book to goddamn Chicago.

3. You're not supposed to bring more than 10 packages into the post office at once. Oh what the fuck ever, bitch.

4. Stamps for US First Class mail are going up to $0.39 this Sunday (the 8th). We will see letters being mailed for $1.00 in my lifetime! How exciting!

I do this too, but that's because I'm poor and son't have a social life.

Also, um, you know if you just go to Staples and buy a bunch of padded envelopes at a time it's a LOT less expensive? ALSO "expedited shipping" on Amazon means first class on books and DVDs; regular shipping is media mail (though I sent everything first class when I did it because media mail is PRICIER for CDs and DVDs somehow).

xpost because I refuse to continue toting shit that Tom neither wants nor uses from apartment to apartment and I'm forcing him to either sell or throw out!

Yeah no if it weren't for QUESTION LADY here I'd be perfectly content to surround myself with boxes of CDs I've listened to once and never again.

I am having to make daily trips to the post office in the morning and weekly stopovers at Staples on the way home though.

though not as much stuff.

useful

I feel like telling some of these people, like the ones who I can tell are in college (by looking at their address), slipping in a piece of paper hand-scribbled with "you don't need this! stop yourself before it's too late. one day you will grow up and realize none of it is actually very good and you'll have to do what I'm doing right now! just stop yourself! clear out all the music and movies on your wishlist and stay away from the computer! you'll thank me at 27."

Especially, for some reason, the guy who just bought my Trojan Dancehall Box Set. A totally unnecessary expenditure if ever there was one. By both of us.

Tuomas: I'm not sure how else you can pay on Amazon but I thought they had other options, like direct bank account debiting which I believe they just added this year.

OTOH if at the end of 30 days I still haven't sold it I could just mail it your way anyway, it makes no difference to me.

Finally somebody bought the Iron Giant.
I just doled out my first refund to some dude who didn't get his Christian Morgenstern CD (memo to buyer: that album was totally disappointing anyway.) Learned yesterday that The Container Store, of all places, actually has the best prices I've found yet on self-adhesive 6x9 bubble mailers. Did you hear that, Staples? Shove that easy button in your ass. All up in it.

Tuomas if you still want the T.Power album it's there! If you continue to refuse to get a credit card I'll mail it to you anyway, just send me your mailing address, whenever you decide to visit the HQ of English-Speaking Power & Justice WorldWide Inc you can buy me a beer or something.

The weirdest order remains the South Korean who bought off my gift copy of All The Pretty Horses. A guy from Sony Imageworks bought my copy of Speedy J's "A Shocking Hobby" but that seemed more or less predictable.

perhaps this is the explanation for Huntsville?

I need $$$ :(

DEFINITELY sign up for expedited/int'l shipping on CDs and such, it's the dough.

Tombot, I don't know what you're paying for bubble mailers, but if you have a Sam's Club account or know someone who does, they have boxes of 25 that come out to under 20 cents each.

I had about 800 CDs for sale at Amazon, putting my prices in the middle of the pack and relying on 100% positive feedback to make sales instead of lowballing. About a year ago I quit checking the competition's prices every time I renewed the listings. In May I put my account on extended vacation because work was too hectic. Took my account off vacation recently and decided to start checking comparables again, and I'm having to cut prices drastically (25%-50%) to stay competitive.

I'm pretty much going to let my listings expire and stay expired; I'm out of the money crunch I was in when I started selling shit, and it offends me to have to list stuff so cheap.

Three. the other one is in softcover, at home. I think the first one? I have no fuckin' clue. Apparently my mother thought I needed a lot of really magical and gay books to read while I was learning Korean for the continued security of our freedom.
Yeah no if it weren't for QUESTION LADY here I'd be perfectly content to surround myself with boxes of CDs I've listened to once and never again.

-- TOMBOT (im.ric...), January 6th, 2006.

GAAAAAAHAAHAAAHAAAHAAAAA

Oooh, first amazon post since I left in May, I can admit I worked there now! (although I know lots of ILXors knew that anyway) ;-)