ass lipstick

why did i click on this? I saw the title!

I don't know what I was expecting

Are we talking about sweat here, or something else?

p.s. if anyone posts that image from _anatomy of hell_ i will be very very hurt and upset

i am talking about finding smears of shit on the toilet seat. at work.

jesus christ.

i love this thread so much that i am tempted to bookmark it

bloody hell... I've heard of people pissing over the seat, but shitting? How bad does someone's aim have to be?

At my gym there have been smears of vom on the seat (and the cistern, and the floor) since Monday.

So, er, mouth lipstick.

i will find the offending orifice and thereupon render my swift and merciless justice

so help me god

Mouth shitstick?

i know that i've gone all OTT on this but you have to admit that this is horrible and disgusting in the extreme, short of posting a photocopied notice in the restroom what can one do about it?

Shouldn't it be toilet lipstick?

no it is like the lipstick left on a coffee mug or cigarette butt, except it is on the toilet seat and it is from your ass

Elmo, you'll just have to start hanging 'round in the work restrooms and agrily demanding to inspect the toilets right after anybody flushes. You might want to be heavily armed for this, btw, and let your boss(es) know where you're going to be for the next fortnight.

(Does your place not only hire slovenly people of odd hygiene but fail to provide those paper seat protectors, too?)

There's not infrequently drops of wetness on the seats at work, but I have not seen a racing strip yet.

But the drops of wetness have vague origins. New office buildings have them flush terlets so pressurized as to almost act like a bidet.

At first I thought option 4 was "i do not wipe myself on the toilet seat"

No, I think this is Mr. Fearful Pisser.

Then its more of a puddle upon porcelain, is it?

Ass lipstick -> ass chapstick -> ass chaps -> assless chaps.

It all makes sense now.

i miss my man servant

is this an ongoing problem or a one-time thing?

in our office, btw, there is someone who picks their nose while taking a leak and leaves the snot on the wall over the urinal

i miss my man servant

But your aim is getting better, no?

Not until 1980 were we able to read in the Sunday Times how Stalin's son, Yakov, died. Captured by the Germans during the Second World War, he was placed in a camp together with a group of British officers. They shared a latrine. Stalin's son habitually left a foul mess. The British officers resented having their latrine smeared with shit, even if it was the shit of the son of the most powerful man in the world. They brought the matter to his attention. He took offense. They brought it to his attention again and again, and tried to make him clean the latrine. He raged, argued, and fought. Finally, he demanded a hearing with the camp arbiter. But the arrogant German refused to talk about shit. Stalin's son could not stand the humiliation. Crying out to heaven in the most terrifying of Russian curses, he took a running jump into the electrified barbed-wire fence that surrounded the camp. He hit the target. His body, which would never again make a mess of the Britishers' latrine, was pinned to the wire.

what is the moral of the story

i do not wipe myself on the toilet seat

Oh shit that's a OR.

Can I retract my vote?

hahahaha

my roommate does this routinely in my other roommate's bathroom

two weekends ago he confronted him in front of me and our fourth roommate and it was one of the more uncomfortable situations i've been involved in in a while

At the restaurant I work there was a mystery going on in the employee restroom. Someone was wiping their ass and throwing the soiled wad in the trash. After some investigation we discovered it was our dishwasher who is I guess from a place with bad plumbing because he didn't know you could flush your wad down with your crap. Or afterwards if you do a courtesy flush. The conversation got more confusing here, our translator isn't that fluent a Spanish speaker.

FWIW he not only flushes his wads now he even lights a match afterwards. And definitely doesn't shit on the goddamn seat. A model shitter.

I've never seen this in my life.

i flush the wads and light a scented candle~

why did i click on this? I saw the title!

― Manchego Bay (G00blar), Tuesday, 2 December 2008 21:55 (Yesterday) Permalink

I like how you can read this post as cheerfully answering itself.

Take nothing but pictures; leave nothing but footprints.

The words "ass" and "lipstick" made me think of cats and counters.

In China, toilet paper needs go in the trash, not the toilet.

(Does your place not only hire slovenly people of odd hygiene but fail to provide those paper seat protectors, too?)

?!???!!

when not on my own private seat i create my own private toilet seat using layers of toilet paper.

i have yet to encounter smeared shit on any toilet seats i have seen. that's quite extraordinary aim and you'd have to shoot your poo sideways, and against gravity

I ladies rooms there are sometimes smears of blood. Now that's a real treat.

why did i open this

(xxpost) I used to hover above the seat to avoid contact. Now my knees are shot I save solids for when I'm at home.

In most of Greece we had to put TP in the trash, too. We were told that plumbing is non-standard (or just plain doesn't meet standards) and would be clogged by any normal amounts of toilet paper. Western-style hotels were fine, but some of those highway-side restaurants and gas stations were really...amazing.

At one of them, the back yard of the gas station was all cracked dirt with 6 inch-deep canyons running through it. When we flushed the toilet, we saw why: the contents of the bowl flushed directly into the back yard, running through the system of cracks like a mini-flash flood. There were about 25 of us waiting to use the bathroom. We used it anyway.

(xpost) Some areas of Turkey and France are the same. And actually also solve the problem of, er, stuff on the seat, by having no seat. Or bowl.

this was a problem at a place i used to work. it was a small office and there were only about 10-12 guys there (problem was only in the men's room, of course), so we were all like, WTF? WHO IS LEAVING SHIT STAINS ON THE SEATS? nobody ever fessed up, but after someone left a strongly worded note taped to the bathroom door, they stopped. people can be shamed into cleaning up their own shit.

I thought this thread would be rehashing old ground:

Interracial r*l*ti*nsh*ps

Interracial a*sl*pst*ck?

Automatic thread bump. This poll is closing tomorrow.

Automatic thread bump. This poll's results are now in.

Hahahah. <3 this thread.

Typical Chinese terlet:

http://img214.imageshack.us/img214/874/imageuploadimagema9.jpg