Battle of the Bad - Vertical Horizon's "Everything You Want" vs Nine Days's "Absolutely (Story of a Girl):

i have some nostalgic affection for "story of a girl," despite its objective badness. it's dumb, but memorably dumb. i can't imagine this vertical horizon song inspiring a running joke in an oscar-winning movie

could see it inspiring a Oscar-acceptance speech though...

"This award is everything I want
it is everything I need
but it means nothing to me
and I don't know why"

That plot twist at the end of the Vertical Horizon song, whoa dude!

He...is ME?

such a simpering nothing of a song

literally reminds me of the horrible way I was to my first real crush in high school

was = acted

vertical horizon.... hmm, that seems impossible to me. were they trying to communicate a paradox with their band name? enigmatic.

that video is some hot 90s garbage. i love the 'why?' that appears in a fat sans serif font in the first 30 seconds.

why?

a tough question, that doesn't always have an answer :|

Their name means nothing to you
And you don't know
Why

i feel like vertical horizon are like... almost there soundwise in terms of being "fondly-remembered radio rock" for me (e.g. third eye blind), but the songs are just boring

i downloaded that nine days song off of napster and played it for weeks though

It isn't good and I wouldn't ever say that I actually like it and there's probably nothing redeeming about it but that Vertical Horizon song gives me weirdly nostalgic vibes...for times I don't really care to remember? A lot of minor key pseudo-indie rock being piped over the PA in the student union that year.

'Story of a Girl' is just fucken annoying (although not as annoying as Nine Days' dudes face in that framegrab) (although it's an absolute tie as to which lead singer has the more annoying face)

the vertical horizon song is harmless, the nine days song is a war crime

The Nine Days singer-dude married the 'girl' of the song and left music to be a High School English teacher, so he's got that going for him.

https://www.stereogum.com/2196389/the-number-ones-vertical-horizons-everything-you-want/columns/the-number-ones/

I absolutely treasure the vertical horizon tune… it stopped me in my tracks when I first heard it on the street in NYC, as also transpired for Jojo "Too Little too Late" or aaliyah "Are you that Somebody;" the opening tremolo gives me the shivers; it's I think the only minivan rock tune that I feel anything for; the other hit the band had, "you're a god" did nothing for me and I've never been motivated to listen to another song by the band; the lead bald dude went to American and other people I know having gone there at the same time disliked him; indeed the "story of a girl" is truly revolting…

'Everything You Want' exists in a late-'90s faux-alt gestalt with 'Barely Breathing' and 'If You Could Only See' and probably several other melancholy singles from that era, songs that I don't particularly like but would nonetheless eagerly listen to anytime. They're kinda like picking at a scab.

Only related to this discussion in the most tangential of ways (terrible songs of the '90s but also terrible songs with subtitles in ellipses) but I'm semi-regularly amused recalling the published results of the favorite songs of my graduating HS class, which included (at numbers one and two) 'New Age Girl' and 'Mary Moon'

so he's got that going for him.

which is niiiice

i was like 10 when these songs were out and even then the 'plot twist' @ the end of "everything you want" was eyeroll-inducing. that said, the intro part of the instrumental does transport me back in a weird way and i don't hate it. "story of a girl" my friends and i came to enjoy in an ironic way at the time but returning to it now i can't really find anything to like about it. voting for the latter as the worse of the two

3 doors down's "kryptonite" vs five for fighting's "superman".

Kryptonite is a top 10 worst song of all time

Where does "Little Black Backpack" by Stroke 9 figure into all of this?

"this is" is fun to meme irl every once in a while, so voted vertical horizons

Vertical Horizon struck me as being in the same 'sensitive douchebag' vein as Incubus but much less successful.

I thought maybe they were secret Christians

would you believe the first three doors down record has a lot of blatant alice in chains worship iirc

I remember "Duck and Run"

i hate this specific micro-era of radio rock, and these are two of the worst songs from it. the vertical horizon song sounds like christian rock. i despise it, but i think "absolutely" gets my vote for being more annoying.

despite not liking either song, it still does paradoxically nostalgic for the time period even though *at the time* I hated my life. life is weiiird man.

I much prefer the Duncan Sheik song mentioned upthread

^which, when I heard for the first time, did not scream to me "this guy is going to write one of the most famous Broadway musicals of the 21st century" but....welp

duncan sheik is a really good songwriter

https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=voiVifebAMY

when i was in high school i checked out sheik's album daylight from the library out of curiosity, afaict in some ways it was his last(?) attempt at getting another foothold in pop radio but the songs are still so good

that sheik song in particular reminds me of stuff like michelle branch's "breathe," a pretty normal pop song by most measures but i still find myself marveling at the obvious craft behind it

think I need to visit the rest of his solo stuff. I've only heard "Barely Breathing", but I saw the original cast of Spring Awakening on Broadway without knowing anything about the show, loved the music, and only found out afterwards he had written it. think I got into a few name-cally arguments on ILX when I was BJO defending Spring Awakening, lol.

on first listen, "Genius" is really nice! his voice in the verse has a bit of a Nick Drake-y type thing going where it's breathy, deep, and straight-toned, which works well for it. nice triumphant chorus.

good addition to the melancholy 90s rock pile!

despite not liking either song, it still does paradoxically nostalgic for the time period even though *at the time* I hated my life. life is weiiird man.

lol this is no longer ILM material but I find myself getting nostalgic for childhood and high school a lot even though I was absolutely miserable for all of it. I think maybe we're just such contrarian creatures that the fact that we CAN'T go back there instantly makes it desirable on some level.

Return to my own
Vomit like a dog

Yeah, it's definitely a thing.

^ha THAT song is one of my favorites

this is the story of a dog…

Automatic thread bump. This poll is closing tomorrow.

Automatic thread bump. This poll's results are now in.

Idk how I missed this poll I listened to the Vertial Horizon album at the start of the month.

Let me tell you.. it were wank, Gary