OK, is this the worst piece of music writing ever?

Argh, nu-ilx has shrunk it slightly past readable; here's a direct link - http://img.photobucket.com/albums/v236/njsouthall/Screengrabs/onsellingoutexepose.jpg

I just boggled at this over my lunch.

"Jonny" is a name for gaywads

This only proves again that editors and writers are two different professions. Hence the two names.

You are actually posting a scan of an article from a student newspaper as the basis for a thread, aren't you? Good lord.

It's a screengrab from the pdf off the website! They didn't have a normal text version...

can you link to the website? photobucket seems to be banned here.

http://www.exepose.ex.ac.uk

goes from strength to strength -- feeder mention is possibly the high point.

System of a Down's top 20 single was six and a half years ago, fact fans.

"Recent developments in music have given Architechs a top 5 single"

surely this can't be THE jonny garrett?

http://www.myspace.com/chasingfaces

(yeah, they have a myspace already, the sellouts)

I suspect it must be, StanM.

I assume, from their name that they like Snow Patrol and The Small Faces.

um, holding up articles by students as examples of 'bad music writing'? talk about shooting fish in a barrel. Matt DC OTM.

Following in the footsteps of West Country acts like Muse and Thirteen Senses by already winning over interest from various major and independent record labels, things are definitely looking good for the boys. Having recently been asked to support New Zealand favourites The Checks who have just finished touring with the likes of JET and Oasis.

"I know someone who knows someone who knows the guy from Young Heart Attack quite well"

blueski and Matt DC offtm, this is the new web2.0 media era, we're all critics now, user provided content is the new professionally written content.

Even in the realm of student media this is BAAAAAAAAD though, Steve - I flick through Exepose every week and this is BY FAR the worst thing I've ever seen in it; hence not starting a thread every week.

Haha I used to write for that paper. I wonder how long before he Googles his own name and finds it.

It would be so wonderful if he googled this thread and responded. What an utterly thrilling discussion and exchange of views that could lead to.

Hey, with any luck he might hop over to ILE and start posting about his sex life or something.

(my question: is the article motivated by his own band possibly signing to a major soon?)

Maybe I should unleash the views of Chris Erasmus at you all?

Haha, yeah, I'd imagine so, StanM.

Hello Jonny's mom! No, he hasn't posted about his sex life yet. Try again later. Bye, ILX.

blueski and Matt DC offtm, this is the new web2.0 media era, we're all critics now, user provided content is the new professionally written content.

-- Dom Passantino, Monday, 18 June 2007 12:36 (11 minutes ago) Link

Dom is entirely correct here. I mean, the chuckle factor is diminished by him being a student, but the democratization of criticism basically leaves us with this sort of landscape (coughcoughP.E.W.cough).

also why do nearly all student newspaper writers write in what feels like the same voice? there's certain syntax and word choices that only student newspapers ever seem to have.

Nobody knows how to sub-edit when they're 21, that's why.

^^not unrelated to why writers in the say, New York Times tend to sound the same. for that matter, ever read Blender? Despite the bylines it seems to be written by one many-armed poprockbot.

that really is quite incredible.

New York Times doesn't have sub-editors? That's crazy!

Hey Jonny, your band fucking suck.

Jonny Garrett of Exeter University, that is.

I think you mean <a href="OK, is this the worst piece of music writing ever?;>Jonny Garrett</a> of Exeter University.

BOO HTML

Kudos on sticking it to Westlife, tho, Jonny Garrett of Exeter University. Those bastards have had it their own way for too long.

Does Westlife even exist anymore?

highlights:

"...bands like westlife who can, quite frankly, go screw themselves with a rusty spoon and get tetanus"

"had nirvana not signed to sub pop... we would probably never have heard one of the most influential artists of our time and dave grohl may have never founded the foo fighters."

the pathos!

but the democratization of criticism basically leaves us with this sort of landscape (coughcoughP.E.W.cough).

democratization of criticism = people slagging this shit off just because they can rather than for any constructive cause. it's just easy target practice, who gives a shit? no-one/nothing is ever going to stop under-grads inheriting these absurd ideas about 'how things should be' in the music industry. surely we've all read this same article many times in the past.

i'm just more relieved than ever my music writing from college days was too soon for blog-era internet heh.

"had nirvana not signed to sub pop... we would probably never have heard of..." Sub Pop.

Was there ever a thread for people to post their own abysmal juvenile music writings from uni days?

Not that I'd post on it, my capsule reviews of Kinesis singles were all fuckin bang-on.

perhaps one day i will post my 8/10 track by track review of 'Be Here Now' from the time.

Yeah, you real writers are all jealous that you've lost the ability to write like that, aren't you?

I wrote a two-part article in my uni paper called "Rhythm & Sound", which basically stated that all rock music that's based on melody or lyrics is boring crap, and that beats and sound are the essential components of good music - hence electronic dance music (and fusion jazz) is the best music there is. I got some angry comments from the indie kids.

Kudos on sticking it to Westlife, tho, Jonny Garrett of Exeter University.

and kudos to you lot for bravely and relentlessly going after such a signifivcant target as jonny garrett. sure showed him!

ts being one of many thick students w/ bad music taste who can't write, vs being someone who actually gives a shit about what said student writes in some minor student rag

or, matt'n'steve otm, u r all losers

but the democratization of criticism basically leaves us with this sort of landscape (coughcoughP.E.W.cough).

student newspapers have nothing to do with the "democratization of criticism"

I can't copy and paste from the Exeter Expose, but if you Google you can find a review where our Jonny talks about "Indy music".

also why do nearly all student newspaper writers write in what feels like the same voice? there's certain syntax and word choices that only student newspapers ever seem to have.

paul please, please tell me you don't actually care about the answer to this

I actually enjoyed the Eminem album but Dash was otm in that entire review. I would have given it like a 6.0 or something but he def nailed what doesn’t work about it

god that was EXCRUCIATING

"Eminem taps into something primal for me and my fellow Generation X-ers, the same way Rage Against the Machine and Oasis do. Their complete disregard towards anything other than the opinions they hold true is what art should be."

uh...

i don't think i can read past that...

Hindenburg was 1937 for the record.

Then he goes on to compare it to the Hindenburg disaster, the gas-stuffed zeppelin of “The horror! The horror!” fame that crashed in New Jersey in 1939, to completely ruin the fun. Thirty-five people died that day.

Heh, this is the full paragraph in Sheffield's original:

Not just a flop. The flop. The flop that killed the 20th century. We’ll never get another rock flop like this one, for the same reason we’ll never get another Hindenberg. It only takes one exploding gas-stuffed blimp to ruin the fun for everybody.

Interesting how the "gas-stuffed" and "ruin the fun" parts got transferred over, outside of any quotation marks.

Friends we seem not to have given the author credit for going back all the way to April 2023 as the basis for his bizarre ad hominem

Led Zeppelin have permanent and exclusive rights to exploit the Hindenburg disaster.

This guy is the master of “this thing that annoys me on the internet is a world-historical problem” writing

Whoops wrong thread

I’m not saying “lock thread” but Les has made a compelling case

this is not the worst music writing ever, but i hate it:

https://www.pastemagazine.com/music/david-berman/everything-in-this-room-right-now-is-a-part-of-me-david-berman

can someone read the first two or three paragraphs and explain to me why this person is writing this piece?

or am i barking up the wrong tree because i would much rather read about DCB than the author, and this kind of piece is supposed to be about the author, and therefore i'm clicking on the wrong things?

Sorry, I bailed out when I learned that the author was a senior in college in 2019.

dude is the music editor of paste so i guess he can do what he wants but in general don't click on paste links. you save time that way.

if it had started: "I was sitting in a Hyatt bathtub with my mom when the bleach starts to burn..." i might have been intrigued enough to continue.

well he’s the editor so at least no one else had to read it

I found a good pull quote:

"Admittedly, I had know idea who David Berman was. I didn’t know what Silver Jews was, nor had I heard much about Purple Mountains at all."

I wish I knew such serenity— seriously, have never been able to understand what’s to like about any DB projects.

“I wasn’t familiar with Drag City and had only just recently gotten into Pavement’s Crooked Rain, Crooked Rain. Songwriters like Bonnie “Prince” Billy, Joanna Newsom, Bill Callahan and Stephen Malkmus were just names I’d likely scrolled past without considering.”

Ok already

Wasn't that Hindenberg quote "the humanity *2" or am I being obv?

yeah, "The horror, the horror" is from Joseph Conrad

cool

https://www.wewriteaboutmusic.com/festivals/pavement-bumbershoot-festival-2024

I went to this show and there are some inaccuracies in this AI review (no Cut Your Hair, for one)

https://www.standard.co.uk/culture/music/primal-scream-album-come-ahead-bobby-gillespie-b1191957.html

Brace yourselves

https://louderthanwar.com/we-are-fugazi-from-washington-d-c-film-review/

that is totally AI. or large portions of it are.

didn't fugazi already have a movie? how many movies does this fugazi band from washington d.c. need?

also, has a single fugazi fan held any position of great power in washington d.c.? let's face it, fugazi band from washington d.c. failed.

Clicked on this yesterday cause I love Aimee, but I left wondering: AI or just plain old super banal writing?

https://www.popmatters.com/aimee-mann-bachelor-no-2

Kinda feels like AI has ruined bad music writing.

AI points accusingly at the music press: "I learned it from YOU"

A new candidate!

https://www.hollywoodreporter.com/news/music-news/chappell-roan-grammys-speech-misguided-1236128051/

oof

lol at section titled "Bill Maher Had a Point"

Fugazi and Aimee Mann pieces make me think there's a new generation of writers whose primary influence is ChatGPT, and who do all they can to write in the same style. Didn't take long!

It takes some skill to get close to a point only to completely reverse course in every paragraph

Whether it’s Prince wresting back control of his master recordings at the height of his popularity or Petty taking on his label for raising the price on his LP, and later funding his iconic album Damn the Torpedos himself — and then refusing to release it — skin in the game earns a seat at the table. But that table requires a willingness to leave blood on the floor and to put your money where your mouth is.

Stopped reading after the fourth cliche in a single sentence--in the opening paragraph!

https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=CRzfajyQL_k

Petty taking on his label for raising the price on his LP, and later funding his iconic album Damn the Torpedos himself

The latter happened before the former.

I thought so! Wasn't Hard Promises the one he battled his label on?

and I thought the problem was over Hard Promises.

jinx!

opened up my Bluesky feed this morning and it was wall-to-wall mockery of this clown

I am glad to have played a small part.

<3

i just don't understand how you can look at the astounding wealth generated by the music industry and think, "nah, more of that shouldn't go to artists. also, people who complain about this situation are just naïve and don't understand the 'intricacies' of this business." literal shit stain of a human

Wow, talk about a piece that makes me want to make a birthday cake for Luigi and bake a saw into it

https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=b6FiGUsjulA

ok, i instantly regret posting a ben shapiro video, but i think the point is clear about the kind of person this is

also i'm not making any comment about the topic allegedly under discussion in the video, just the fact that he's appearing on that program speaks for itslef

Capital fighting labor on every front

Fish-in-barrel time: a metal blog writing for only other metalheads is always gonna be a purple prose danger zone, but this review of the new Obscura album is almost indecipherable (and grammatically more than a little shaky). (The album sucks harder than he suggests, btw.)