Which song is worse American Pie or We Didn't Start The Fire

this is really really hard.

Also special thanks to Dan and John I was singing both of these songs as I fell asleep last night, my wife was all WTF

American Pie is so much worse

yeah, American Pie, easy. even the Weird Al version wasn't that great.

also it's almost twice as long.

i'm gonna have to disagree with you. at least you can hum American Pie.

We Didn't Start The Fire sparked interest in 20th century history in social studies classes across the nation, what the fuck did American Pie do for anyone

launched at least half a dozen cultural studies careers

I can't stand either, but We Didn't Start the Fire is definitely worse.

Made Don McLean a shitload of money? (xxp)

no song about the Big Bopper has a right to be so boring, or to not even say "Big Bopper" in the lyrics.

has V/VM treated either of these yet

the fire = big bopper?!?

We Didn't Start the Fire infinitely worse, because it is not actually catchy (and if American Pie has anything going for it, its the melody)

"American Pie" gets on my tits much more. But Killdozer didn't do "We Didn't Start the Fire". But neither did Madonna. So I still have to vote "American Pie".

James Dean can fuck off as well.

Shakey's got it right.

i agree that American Pie has a better melody, but there is something catchy about We Didnt Start the Fire.

what the fuck is this not catchy shit? everybody's been singing We Didn't Start The Fire since the thread started!

yeah, it's always been burnin'

"it's a pity they can't both lose"

WDSTF = not as catchy as AP.

Neither are as catchy as "Reasons to be Cheerful, part 3"

there are worse crimes

xpost

"American Pie" is easily worse. "We Didn't Start the Fire" is kind of horrible, but it's an awesome, fun kind of horrible. "American Pie" is just boring and interminable.

hey speaking of which, why doesn't kissinger get a shoutout in WDSTF?? massive fail

nothing rhymes with Kissinger

we didn't start the fire is way way worse

Rhyme with "missing ya" considered too tacky by Billy Joel.

Well, that's obviously debatable. But, sure, RTBC is an infinitely wittier song. No argument there.

xp to Mark G

"I ain't Kissinger at all since you've been gone away
I ain't Kissinger, no matter what I might say..."

Asked what "American Pie" meant, McLean once replied, "It means I never have to work again."

Kissinger > Kissing Her

Beyond the titular phrase, I honestly cannot recall the melody to We Didn't Start the Fire - its a sloppily composed song from start to finish. Not to get all Geir on everybody but American Pie's melody is really quite pretty and inventive, even if it is put in service of an otherwise terrible song.

Pie. Fire is hilariously bad, Pie is depressing.

Making your fuck-awful song catchy and melodic is aggravation, not mitigation.

"American Pie". Unless it's the Madonna version.

OH GOD i almost forgot about her cover!

they're both awful horrible narcissistic boomer handjobs but you never have to listen to WDSTF anymore unless you basically seek it out. American Pie is so overplayed and over-covered and overcooked you can't help but despise it. It's a fucking black hole of all that's bad in crap drippy self-indulgent music and seems more sincere as an ode to masturbation than as a requiem. WDSTF you can at least laugh at. AP is a holocaust.

what, you've never heard a good holocaust joke?

Shakey's got it right.

There is never any reason to type this on ILX.

the more I think about the arrogance of the title, the insipid sappiness of the chorus, and the way so many folks of a certain age seem to treasure, the more AP infuriates me, actually. I want to go put a litany of sexual offenses on McLean's wikipedia page.

most Radiohead songs are worse than these two

"American Pie" beget Dashboard Confessional
"We Didn't Start the Fire" beget Propaghandi

American Pie: acoustic guitar, 70's drums=okay
We Didn't Start the Fire: cheesy syntho pop=not okay

oh boy, haven't heard "syntho pop" since my crazy rockist toupeed ex-friend usta say it

most Radiohead songs are worse than these two

CRACKHEAD

Radiohead is actively trying to destroy music, McLean & Joel didn't know what they were doing.

Mr. Que's logic, above, is faulty.

Indeed

Tom, maybe that's him breaking in to steal a pie.

x-post

neither song has even a flash of the genius that is life is a rock:

B.B. Bumble and the Stingers, Mott the Hoople, Ray Charles Singers
Lonnie Mack and twangin' Eddy, here's my ring we're goin' steady
Take it easy, take me higher, liar liar, house on fire
Locomotion, Poco, Passion, Deeper Purple, Satisfaction
Baby baby gotta gotta gimme gimme gettin' hotter
Sammy's cookin', Lesley Gore and Ritchie Valens, end of story
Mahavishnu, fujiyama, kama-sutra, rama-lama
Richard Perry, Spector, Barry, Archies, Righteous, Nilsson, Harry
Shimmy shimmy ko-ko bop and Fats is back and Finger Poppin'

Life is a rock but the radio rolled me
Gotta turn it up louder, so my DJ told me (whoa whoa whoa whoa)
Life is a rock but the radio rolled me
At the end of my rainbow lies a golden oldie

FM, AM, hits are clickin' while the clock is tock-a-tickin'
Friends and Romans, salutations, Brenda and the Tabulations
Carly Simon, I behold her, Rolling Stones and centerfoldin'
Johnny Cash and Johnny Rivers, can't stop now, I got the shivers
Mungo Jerry, Peter Peter Paul and Paul and Mary Mary
Dr. John the nightly tripper, Doris Day and Jack the Ripper
Gotta go Sir, gotta swelter, Leon Russell, Gimme Shelter
Miracles in smokey places, slide guitars and Fender basses
Mushroom omelet, Bonnie Bramlett, Wilson Pickett, stop and kick it

Life is a rock but the radio rolled me
Gotta turn it up louder, so my DJ told me (whoa whoa whoa whoa)
Life is a rock but the radio rolled me
At the end of my rainbow lies a golden oldie

Arthur Janov's primal screamin', Hawkins, Jay and
Dale and Ronnie, Kukla, Fran and Norma Okla
Denver, John and Osmond, Donny
JJ Cale and ZZ Top and LL Bean and De De Dinah
David Bowie, Steely Dan and sing me prouder, CC Rider
Edgar Winter, Joanie Sommers, Osmond Brothers, Johnny Thunders
Eric Clapton, pedal wah-wah, Stephen Foster, do-dah do-dah
Good Vibrations, Help Me Rhonda, Surfer Girl and Little Honda
Tighter, tighter, honey, honey, sugar, sugar, yummy, yummy
CBS and Warner Brothers, RCA and all the others

Life is a rock but the radio rolled me
Gotta turn it up louder, so my DJ told me (whoa whoa whoa whoa)
Life is a rock but the radio rolled me
At the end of my rainbow lies a golden oldie

spoken:
Listen--remember, they're playing our song!
Rock it, sock it, Alan Freed me, Murray Kaufman, try to leave me
Fish, and Swim, and Boston Monkey,
Make it bad and play it funky.
(Wanna take you higher!)

"American Pie" is a crappy song that become more-or-less a one hit wonder ("Vincent" was a hit too I guess, but hardly remembered.) "WDSTF" is one of many many many many crap songs in a row from the horrible pen of Billy Joel. Don McLean, whatever his sins, moved on and did not really try to repeat this surprising success. Presumably even he was disturbed by the tune. Billy Joel remained a total whore.

My analogy is thus:

Don McLean = One-time perpetrator of accidental manslaughter.
Billy Joel = Serial killer. Of innocent and hungry children.

Plus, "WDSTF" is a rip-off of the awful "Life Is A Rock (But The Radio Rolled Me)" by Reunion, with the added dimension of being even crappier than the original.

So I vote that the Billy Joel tune is worse, and I urge you to do the same.

CRAZY, Scott! I wrote my response re: Life Is A Rock and posted it simultaneously with your own.

But flash of genius is stretching it a bit.

Life's Is A Rock That Billy's Gonna Throw Through Don Maclean's Window

Reunion.

The other night I tripped a nice continental drift divide. Mount St. Edelite.
Leonard Bernstein. Leonid Breshnev, Lenny Bruce and Lester Bangs.
Birthday party, cheesecake, jelly bean, boom! You symbiotic, patriotic,
slam, but neck, right? Right.

These songs are about as rock and roll as the Christmas carol Roger Angell used to do every year at the New Yorker.

The tour started like this: we were on the plane. McLean glanced out the window. he said he saw a shooting star. I said make a wish. He said "I did, but it didn't work. You're still here."

i lol'd. if this played out exactly this way, my admiration of don maclean went up just a tiny little bit.

i'll come out and admit it: i hate self-identified baby boomers.

i hate the people from that generation who refer their generation as a "we". while i'm at it: i hate anyone from any generation who refers to their generation as a "we".

my hatred of "american pie" had a lot more to do with the simple sing-song melody, dumb ass lyrics, and memories of my semi-retarded uncle 'performing' it any time he was within 30 feet of an acoustic guitar; but my hatred of WDSTF may have actually been part of what triggered my hatred of all things 'baby boomer'. i think i'm a better person because of that, so thank you Billy Joel.

The plot thickens: Annoy Don McLean, Win Annoy Don McLean, Win $200!00!

OK, that's a typo, but I actually like it better that way.

I ate in the public market today where there was an old black dude playing tepid versions of Stevie Wonder songs on the keyboard. I sat down near him and ate my lunch, too aware of the fact that I had walked right in front of him and was now ignoring him.

I started thinking these dumb scenarios in my head of what songs he could start performing to pander to me. Like, switching from "Just the Two of Us" (okay, they weren't all Stevie Wonder songs) to "Monkey Gone to Heaven" since I was a thirtysomething white boy.

Instead, the dude rips into "Just the Way You Are" and I immediately realized that I have wasted a lot of worktime reading this thread today.

American Pie is a fantastic, beautiful song.

WDSTF is devoid of melody or inspiration.

Easy decision.

Automatic thread bump. This poll is closing tomorrow.

WDSTF is infinitely more catchy and generally works better than American Pie, which is unbearably annoying, cringe-inducing even.

"We Didn't Start the Fire"'s brilliant doppelganger: X's "Must Not Think Bad Thoughts"

"American Pie" is the most pretentious and humorless song ever made. "We Didn't Start the Fire" wins.

This is a great poll guys.

We didn't honor the fire.

-- Trayce, Friday, November 2, 2007 4:15 AM

high-quality!

My freshman year, our fiftysomething history teacher assigned a 60's music video project. A friend stupidly picked "American Pie," even after I told her how fucking long and terrible it is. And then we had to sit through six minutes of "American Pie," coupled with a shitty slideshow of generic protest pictures.

I'm not friends with her anymore.

nothing rhymes with Kissinger

my lai, kissinger, quicksilver messenger

or

cambodia, kissinger, antonioni passenger

also this has maybe been saluted on one of these threads, but if not it should be:

New Kids On The block,had a bunch of hits
Chinese food makes me sick.
And I think it's fly when girls stop by for the summer,for the summer
I like girls that wear Abercrombie and Fitch,
I'd take her if I had one wish,
But she's been gone since that summer..
Since that summer

[Verse 1:]
Hip Hop Marmalade spic And span,
Met you one summer and it all began
You're the best girl that I ever did see,
The great Larry Bird Jersey 33
When you take a sip you buzz like a hornet
Billy Shakespeare wrote a whole bunch of sonnets
Call me Willy Whistle cause I can't speak baby
Something in your eyes went and drove me crazy
Now I can't forget you and it makes me mad,
Left one day and never came back
Stayed all summer then went back home,
Macauly Culkin wasn't Home Alone
Fell deep in love,but now we ain't speaking
Michael J Fox was Alex P Keaton
When I met you I said my name was Rich
You look like a girl from Abercrombie and Fitch

[Chorus:]
New Kids On The block,had a bunch of hits
Chinese food makes me sick.
And I think it's fly when girls stop by for the summer,for the summer
I like girls that wear Abercrombie and Fitch,
I'd take her if I had one wish,
But she's been gone since that summer..
Since that summer

[Verse 2:]
Cherry Pez,cold crush,rock star boogie
Used to hate school so I had to play hookie,
Always been hip to the B-boY Style
Known to act wild and make girls smile,
Love New Edition and the Candy Girl
Remind me of you because you rock my world
You come from Georgia where the peaches grow
They drink lemonade and speak real slow
You love hip hop and rock n roll
Dad took off when you were 4 years old
There was a good man named Paul Revere
I feel much better baby when you're near
You love fun dip and cherry Coke,
I like the way you laugh when I tell a joke
When I met you I said my name was Rich
You look like a girl from Abercrombie and Fitch

[Repeat Chorus]

[Bridge:]
In the summertime girls got it going on,
Shake and wiggle to a hip hop song
Summertime girls are the kind I like,
I'll steal your honey like I stole your bike

[Verse 3]
Bugaloo shrimp and pogo sticks
My mind takes me back there oh so quick
Let you off the hook like my man Mr. Limpet
Think about that summer and I bug,cause I miss it
Like the color purple,macaroni and cheese,
Ruby red slippers and a bunch of trees
Call you up but whats the use
I like Kevin Bacon,but I hate Footloose
Came in the door I said it before,I think I'm over you
but I'm really not sure
When I met you I said my name was Rich
You look like a girl from Abercrombie and Fitch

[Repeat Chorus]

[Bridge:]
In the summer girls come and summer girls go
Some are worth while and some are so so,
Summer girls come and summer girls go
Some are worth while and some are so so,
Summertime girls got it going on
Shake and wiggle to a hip hop song
Summertime girls are the kind I like
I'll steal your honey like I stole your bike

Conversely we could have a debate over Weird Al's parody of American Pie vs. Tom Greens parody of WDSTF (which is, for better or worse, a tribute to euphemisms for male genitalia)

Reasons why WDSTF is great--

If it had been released just 35 years earlier everyone would agree that Joel was some kind of flippin' Nostradamus.

The fact that it rightly characterizes Beatlemania as a purely British phenomena.

Makes us ask ourselves important metaphysical questions-- how can we know that the fire's been burning since the world's been turning if the earliest evidence we have of it dates to around the time that young Billy Joel started watching the nightly news?

Somewhat more coherent lyrically than REM's "It's the End of the World as We Know It."

Cries out for 20th anniversary version with extra lyrics covering Ruby Ridge, OJ, Monicagate, 9/11, High School Musical, and death of Robert Goulet (what else do I have to say?)

The fact that it rightly characterizes Beatlemania as a purely British phenomena.

Alternately, that it's drawing a clear line between the mania surrounding the British Beatles and the rather lesser excitement concerning their non-British imitators, Toledo's own Beatles. The American Beatles went on to some minor success and accepted the similarly-named band with aplomb, a little-known chapter of pop that contrasts sharply with the 90s, when the Charlatans had to explicitly label themselves the "Charlatans UK," and Bush was forced to go by "Bush-X" in Canada.

i used to get pretty psyched when i heard billy belt out the JFK BLOWN AWAY line

then again i was 7

this lazy social commentary is still more tolerable than the self-appointed 'epic' that is the horrid 'american pie', however.

"American Pie" is fun to sing and that's good enough for me

I once started coming up with a special Pride Week version of this song, listing famous gay people throughout history, maybe accurate or not, culminating in "JFK! He was gay! What else do I have to say?"

This could also be the refrain for a list of conspiracy theories and cover-ups throughout American history.

Most difficult poll yet. Both are terrible.

"American Pie" is fun to sing and that's good enough for me

Me too! Also, dissing "American Pie" means you ruin the memories of the dances at my childhood summer camps, not to mention those at camps attended by millions of other kids. Does anyone want that on their conscience? Vote for Billy Joel!

Automatic thread bump. This poll's results are now in.

Am I the only one here that thinks Don McClean's response is totally lucid and makes sense? The accuracy of what he says can only be verified by those that were there I guess, but it's all believable.

Oh, close result and massive turnout, by the way!

People really hate these two songs, that's for sure.

I agree mark, he doesn't sound unreasonable at all. Doesn't stop the song being shit though.

Close thing, but this was the correct result.

man. so close.

YES.

is this the most-voted-in poll yet...?

Nope, I think the Can albums poll is still number one. On ILM, anyway.

justice is served

Yep, 159 votes on BEST CAN ALBUM! (POLL Closes 4th May)

If I'd seen/voted in this on time, it woulda been 62-60

man, i hate we didn't start the fire so much more than american pie, which I find easier to ignore

the only way i've ever seen people dance to WDSTF was like this:

http://www.funny-myspace-comments.com/animation/81.gif

part of me would pick WDSTF as worse if only because it's more "in your face!" but american pie is much worse, just more subtly worse.

Wait that kind of makes me like WDSTF

so doing that when i remember to do WDSTF the fire at karoake

Ha, that looks like great fun!

We Didn't Start To Feed The Fire?

WDSTFUTF

^^^^^ you have a point