JACOB BEARDSLEY: THE INTERVIEW

First I'd like to apologize for how long it has taken me to respond to your
questions. As I figure that none of you actually care, this probably hasn't
been too difficult of a time.


I'll be watching AAD from now on, so if you'd like to know more just post to
the forum and the original drunk will be will you in his own sweet time.

AAD: It's now two years since we started infesting your forum. We've
been publicly taking your name in vain since September 2001. Some of us
had little better to do. But what about you? How have things been going
from a career point of view?

JPB: My career pretty much sucks. What with a wonderful US economy, and
my lack of any formal education, I don't exactly have the pick of crop when
it comes to jobs. Whatever came by, that paid the bills, and was slightly more
interesting than watching C-Span all day (Canadian Parliament is hilarious), I
took.


Tired of being a corporate-drone whore I have decided to return to college to
become a corporate-middle-management whore. Seriously, I'm at
UWM to get my degree in Software Engineering and
a minor in business.

AAD: Why and when did you create Ask A Drunk?

JPB: I created AAD shortly after leaving college in 1998. I was influenced by
my friend who created the "Ask Jesus" forum on LUSENET (It seems that that forum
has been over taken by actual Christians. It was so much better when it
was blasphemous). Of course, drinking was involved as well as it being entirely
too late that night. So, pretty much, I started AAD because...

AAD: A couple of your own postings on LUSENET were signed 'sir
jakersley, or the drunk guy who hath no pants'. Is there a story here?

JPB: Before I started using the nickname spoon00, I made attempts
to be funny. Since they failed, I knew I was not funny and I now rely on
being self-deprecating. Also, I may have watched/listened to too much Monty
Python at the time.

AAD: Your original email address and your current one both begin with
the word 'spoon'. Why is this? (It has been suggested that you invented
spoons, and/or get a percentage of the profit from every spoon sold,
everywhere in the world.)

JPB: Spoon was from "The Tick". I used it enough for it to stick.

AAD: Why did you take down your personal web site? Any chance of it
reappearing?

JPB: Very technical reasons for this. I moved.


I had a Linux box on a DSL connection severing my old site. I moved to a place
that promised to also have DSL but they forgot to tell me that I'd have to
wait a year. So all I had was one telephone line and dial-up.


I've moved again and I have DSL once more. At some point I'll have a web-server
running again, but until then you can experience the trills at my
uwm homepage.

AAD: An email has arrived from a man called Flood (tempting to say we've
been 'inundated' with emails from him, but in fact it was just the one)
who describes you as a 'part time Canadian'. How do you plead in
response to this grave charge?

JPB: Yes, this is a friend of mine and he is correct in his charge
that I am a part time Canadian. The thing is, my father owns a fishing
resort in Ontario, and the only way that I could work there in the summer
was by becoming a Canadian resident. I am currently a landed immigrant,
but I have yet to get my SIN and Health card.

AAD: To borrow a formula from 'I Love Everything': beards, classic or
dud?

JPB Beards are pretty classic, if done right. Can I do it right? No.

AAD: A question for you in your professional capacity, from one of the
AAD veterans, Zen Clown: 'I'd like to ask about Linux applications as
they apply to PCs. Seemingly, most hardware and software is dedicated to
Macroshaft. The average user has a hard row to hoe getting away from MS.
Will Linux evolve in the near future so that shitheads like me can use
it? I installed Lycoris and it wouldn't recognize my modem, scanner or
printer thereby rendering it virtually useless. And could I perhaps slip
in a "furthermore"? Any recommendations regarding Linux OS for home
users?'

JPB: If you want *nix on the desktop, get a Mac.
I've been a loyal Mac fan for many years and have run MacOS X since it was in beta. A few
driver issues where around early on, but it is very much mainstream now and very few problems
arise, except maybe for extremely old peripherals.


I still have Linux around and use it for a few desktop applications. I think that Linux has
the ability to be a good desktop OS as long as some group is willing to make the commitment like
that of Apple in getting BSD Unix ready for the masses.


For now I don't suggest Linux unless you are willing to make the commitment
necessary to follow through in making it work for you (learn to compile, etc...).
Linux, right now, is very good and I suggest that it be put to use in the following; corporate
desktop kiosks, most/all server uses, cheap clusters, internet kiosks, school desktop kiosks,
firewalls, use for vertical applications, embedded devices, etc...

AAD: What do you prefer to do in your spare time?

JPB: Not that I have too much spare time now that I'm in school, but I do enjoy quite
a few things.


I enjoy swimming and bicycling in an attempt to keep in better shape. It's going pretty
well, if only I would stop eating so much.


I try to culture my self a bit by reading and participating in a school choir. I'm actually
very good as singing and have quite a bit of fun as long as I don't have to solo. I've been
reading a lot of Harry Turtledove, but I'm getting some more political and historical readings
done as well.


Big fan of the Internet and I visit a few sites everyday;
slashdot.org,
fark.com,
macrumors.com,
macslash.com, and
web zen.


I'll also do some programming or learn a new programming language every so often. No big
personal projects yet, but I am working on a web site for someone right now.

AAD: What do you prefer to do out of your spare time?

JPB: Since I'm in school right now I could tell you the classes that I like. It's the
end of the semester right now, but my philosophy, econ, and computer science classes were all
successful in keeping awake. Math wasn't bad but I'll enjoy that more once I start calculus.
Next semester I'll be finishing up all my required course work so I'll be able to focus on the
math and computer science soon.


I also work part time in the UWM Student Union at the information desk. I'm not too sure where
stuff is on campus, so I'm very unhelpful some of the time. I also have the choice of being the
cashier at a local Chinese restaurant when funds are low and I have extra spare time.

Additional Questions:

AAD: Can you spare a dime?

JPB: Ha, was going to ask you the very same thing. I'm in college now, very poor.

Don't make me get Susan Summers out here...

AAD: Counselor Troi. HOT HOT HOT!!! or scary psycho bitch?

JPB: Super HOT psycho bitch. Fond of Hoshi Sato from Enterprise though.

AAD: Got pics?

JPB: pics

AAD: Brie or Low-fat Philadelphia?

JPB: I've been known to have Brie and crackers as my only breakfast. Remember, there's
no F-A-T in B-R-I-E.

AAD: Scotch or Gin?

JPB: Scotch, with Brandy coming in second. Gin is last, or whenever my Grandfather is
making martinis (I can't see!).

Interview Cont'd

AAD: Do you currently have a partner? If not, any one of us would be
honoured to fill the vacancy, even if it meant changing sex - but if you
could actually see most of us you might not be very keen on this
proposal.

JPB: This may be the most depressing answer for some of you then. I am engaged to be
married to a wonderful girl named
Judy.
Our current wedding date is set for June 6, 2004. I will be taking her name at
that time, becoming Jacob Wu.