ASK BELL_LABS

and how do you, bell_labs, achieve this state of mind?

bell_labs has not been to ITR in awhile. i miss her ;_;

COME BACK BELLLLLLLLLLLLLL

hi lingbert. sometimes i meditate by thinking about hamburgers. you can do it anywhere. today on the train for example i spent 45 minutes thinking of burgers. now i am focused and ready to face the day.

thanks bell_labs. v. v. enriching.

i think i could get into this whole burger meditation thing

me too

no problem lingbort ask me questions any time!

ruby i will try to post to ITR more, you have convinced me never to stray

hi bell!

do you find yourself attractive?

R

hey blabs

do you think youre smarter than surmouter?

thx j

surmounter, i find many things about myself attractive, but especially my sweet, bountiful ass. thank you for asking.

=P thx

jhosea, i think i'm probably better at math than surmounter, but he's probably better at spelling.

dear bell labs

do you think it is declasse to start one's own "ASK ___" thread?

n/a

hey blabs

does ian still read ilx or is he totally cold turkey? if so do you keep him up to date on major developments?

thx j

dear bell labs

speaking of that does ian still hate me or is he kind of indifferent by this point?

dn

n/a,

i think in certain situations it can be ok. i remember a successful ask abbott thread started in that way.

jhose & deez,

i don't think ian still reads ilx or thinks about it at all.

heyyy bell

what are you having for dinner?

R

daerest bell_labs,
can you tell if this girl
http://server2.uploadit.org/files/katronbomb-meditation.jpg
has hamburgers on her mind?

does meditation work best when one is perched on a cliff that overlooks a valley? does the burgerness become more authentic?

dear bell

on an ilb thread awhile back ian said he was about to read 'jesus' son' by denis johnson. can you ask him if he finished reading it, and if he totally loved it? this is one of my all time favourite books ever.

also: what is your favourite alcoholic drink, not including beer?

xRR

surmounter

i amm having a hamburger for dinner haha

lingberguesa

it makes no difference where you are, if you are capable of enlightenment you can tune into the universal burger ideal from any point in the universe. that girl is probably thinking about burgers though because she hiked up that mountain and is probably really hungry.

ruby!

i love that book too. the first time i finished it, i immediately started reading it again.

via gchat ian says:
Ian: eh, it was okay.

my favorite drink besides a beer is a manhattan straight up with rye

update: deeznuts, ian DOES still hate you

uh oh!

LOL!

hahahahahhhahhaha

sonned in a gchat beef

dear bell,

yay! i'm glad you loved that book! you should also then read 'weep not my wanton' by maggie dubris - crazy funny stories in a similar style about this woman working as an EMT in NYC in the 80s. it's beautiful and hilarious. i am reading 'the magus' by john fowles at the moment; have you read this?

what is 'rye'?

xxxRR

rye is a type of whiskey, similar to bourbon.

dear bell_labs,

(sorry about that cryptic fb message a while ago; i was drunk and struck by the fact that all your statuses seem to involve meat.)

why are you bell_labs?

update: deeznuts, ian DOES still hate you

-- bell_labs,

lol

i STILL dont hate him!

bell_labs,

Do you hate New York band Interpol? Do u know if they have actually broken up?

>>>mw

haha mookieproof meat is delicious so i thought it was an awesome facebook message obviously

tonight i had a paul's burger with bacon, pickles, lettuce tomato and onions and it caused burger euphoria to quickly set in

wilter, i do not hate interpol as people, even the herpes one, who i see at the hairdresser occasionally. but i am not really a fan of their music. i have no idea if they have broken up.

bell_labs, would you buy my record

only $1000

tombot i will buy your record, as long as it is reasonably priced, on the condition that you give us our style board.

Bell_Labs,

Do you like doing karaoke? If so, what songs do you like to sing? If not, why not?

From,
Lingbert

bell labs,

do you prefer I Got Style or I Love Syle?

jergins

dear bell,

do you live near the jonathan levine gallery?

xRR

lingbert,

i do not like doing karaoke because i am generally a shy and retiring person.

jergins,

i prefer "i got style." it's got zazz.

rubyredd,

no, but i do live near the brooklyn museum!

thanks for playing,
b_l

ZAZZ!

i am bored. ask me stuff!

i had one for you the other day, i think...

hmm.

have you seen the movie Birth?

nope. should i?

i think so! it's kind of creepy.

are you having a good face day today?

Dear BL,

What would yr ideal career be?

Yours,

Libby

a good face day? like a good day for my face? probably not, i am kind of oily.

i know it's still muggy out :(

libcrypt, my ideal career would be a food critic

or possibly a bikini inspector

you're from maine right? is it creepy that i know that?

how bad are maine winters? horribly bad? miserable? not that bad? i lived in the midwest years and years so i can handle snow until April-May. please advise.

maine winters are pretty intense, but i grew up there with ski fanatic parents that basically dumped me off at ski class when i was three years old every winter so i think i am just used to it. i find the winters in new york depressing because when it does even snow, it gets disgusting and ugly in a day.

i wish i could see a maine winter.

do you get along with your parents? do you routinely experience feelings of anger, about anything?

yes i get along with both of my parents. they are wonderful people. in a related note, i feel angry very frequently that my dad is in jail and everything sucks for them right now. i also feel irrationally angry at the woman who sits on the other side of my cubicle.

i'm so sorry he is in jail. that sounds complicated.

yeah. i won't get into it but it's a mess.

what is the woman on the other side of your cubicle doing?

Dear BL,

I know you sometimes get pissed off at people, just like I and most people do. Who is currently on yr shit list?

Yours,

Libby

surmounter:

right now she is being kind of quiet, actually. but 99% of the time she is either loudly chewing munching on something, yelling at her husband or mortgage broker on the phone, talking loudly to friends, or talking EXTRA loudly in highschool-level spanish to her nanny (extra loudly, because you need to speak really loudly to foreigners to understand you)

i'm cracking up picturing this

the funniest part may be the yelling at her mortgage broker. although the loud HS spanish really clinches it.

my shitlist:
that woman
bank of america customer service
udom thai restaurant (for trying to pass off chicken as duck)
my best friend's piece of shit pcp addict ex-boyfriend
uhm...that's it for now i think?

bell do you like that really loud woman judge on So You Think You Can Dance?

i don't even really hate anyone on ilx at the moment! besides that one asshole

surm i've never watched that show

udom thai restaurant (for trying to pass off chicken as duck)

This, gentlemen, means WAR!

(just for the record, i don't watch it either, someone showed me a clip. i don't want you getting the wrong idea)

i ripped their delivery menu into many pieces in a fit of rage

http://img2.timeinc.net/ew/dynamic/imgs/070824/sinead_l.jpg

ok the woman's husband came in and brought their daughter (about a year old). right now the woman is up showing her daughter around the office and her husband is sitting at her desk, eating SNACKS. he chews EVEN LOUDER THAN SHE DOES.

there is no excuse for chewing like a dog.

what if you are a dog

are you a dog?

dude it is ASK BELL LABS not BELL LABS ASKS YOU

in communist russia........oh nevermind

people still get addicted to pcp?

crusty squatter punks do :(

Hey BL,

What do you think of Will Smith?

Best,
Mark

does this hurt u as much me?
Bell Labs Kills Fundamental Physics Research

did you know bell labs is one of my saved ebay searches?
yo linds babby pop in like 5-6 days now (you are sushi master of subtle prediction!)

I must have missed the thread where bell_labs got banned, wz it self-imposed?

;_;