GENERIC TARGET BRAND DISAPPOINTMENT EARLY WARNING SYSTEM

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1. Market Pantry Crunchy Granola Bars

non-ironic safety helmet wearer (John Justen), Monday, 19 January 2009 22:55 (sixteen years ago) link

orly? no more like FUCKING BULLSHIT

non-ironic safety helmet wearer (John Justen), Monday, 19 January 2009 22:55 (sixteen years ago) link

i eat these things so you don't have to.

non-ironic safety helmet wearer (John Justen), Monday, 19 January 2009 22:59 (sixteen years ago) link

Well this is interesting. I hope your teeth or stomach or whatever (or all of the above) have recovered!

Sara R-C, Tuesday, 20 January 2009 05:47 (sixteen years ago) link

I dig store brands for lots of stuff, but nothing's ever as good as Nature Valley. They're a staple food; I eat at least one a day

Dan I., Tuesday, 20 January 2009 06:04 (sixteen years ago) link

I carry the Nature Valley bars in my scrub pants for emergencies during clinicals, and I always have them in my bag for class, too. Even 4l3x will eat them, and that is a huge endorsement, because that kid basically hates food.

Sara R-C, Tuesday, 20 January 2009 06:21 (sixteen years ago) link

note how Sara carefully says "scrub pants" instead of "pockets"

^likes black girls (HI DERE), Tuesday, 20 January 2009 21:14 (sixteen years ago) link

2. Market Pantry "cheese on cheese sandwich crackers"

Barackman Hussein Overdrive (John Justen), Tuesday, 20 January 2009 21:31 (sixteen years ago) link

Market Pantry cheese risotto

redmond, Tuesday, 20 January 2009 21:32 (sixteen years ago) link

putting the word cheese in the name of this thing twice means that some guy at targets branding division is a lying mealy-mouthed cocksucker.

Barackman Hussein Overdrive (John Justen), Tuesday, 20 January 2009 21:33 (sixteen years ago) link

I am sensing a theme here, and that theme is "fuck you, Market Pantry"

^likes black girls (HI DERE), Tuesday, 20 January 2009 21:33 (sixteen years ago) link

MP OJ and hueg platter of cashews have both served me well

MIRV Griffin (goole), Tuesday, 20 January 2009 21:34 (sixteen years ago) link

xp I thought about clarifying that the granola bars were snacks for me rather than tools I might use to, I don't know, perform an emergency tracheostomy on a patient, but sometimes I like to leave those openings out there, just for the hell of it.

Sara R-C, Tuesday, 20 January 2009 21:48 (sixteen years ago) link

leaving tracheostomy openings out there just for the hell of it is prob a total shoo in for malpractice there ms supposed nurse

Barackman Hussein Overdrive (John Justen), Tuesday, 20 January 2009 22:15 (sixteen years ago) link

Do Market Pantry do a microwaveable breakfast biscuit? I bet it is an abomination.

Ed, Tuesday, 20 January 2009 22:16 (sixteen years ago) link

i will check.

Barackman Hussein Overdrive (John Justen), Tuesday, 20 January 2009 22:18 (sixteen years ago) link

it's a trap

Barack You Like A Husseincane (HI DERE), Tuesday, 20 January 2009 22:19 (sixteen years ago) link

Well, you tried to warn him. Sigh.

Sara R-C, Tuesday, 20 January 2009 22:26 (sixteen years ago) link

John likes traps, though.

Barack You Like A Husseincane (HI DERE), Tuesday, 20 January 2009 22:30 (sixteen years ago) link

Well aware!

Sara R-C, Tuesday, 20 January 2009 22:34 (sixteen years ago) link

Remember John, if you get caught, you can always chew through your own ankle.

WmC, Tuesday, 20 January 2009 22:34 (sixteen years ago) link

I hear john can regrow those, whilst in a meditative state.

Ed, Tuesday, 20 January 2009 22:35 (sixteen years ago) link

It's true, but you do NOT want to witness it.

Sara R-C, Tuesday, 20 January 2009 22:37 (sixteen years ago) link

John can regrow ankles, but they never reappear where the ankle should be.

Barack You Like A Husseincane (HI DERE), Tuesday, 20 January 2009 22:43 (sixteen years ago) link

So, so disturbing.

Sara R-C, Tuesday, 20 January 2009 22:46 (sixteen years ago) link


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